BY: M.L. Nestel 

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▀ East Harlem: Shooter Loses Game Of Hide-And-Seek To Eagle-Eyed Cops

He may need to work on his tradecraft.

An 18-year-old suspected gunslinger was caught after a ShotSpotter tracked several wayward rounds being fired around 108th Street and Third Avenue at around 8:30 p.m. on June 15. The man, decked in all black and white sneakers, had an outstanding warrant for robbery dating back to March 27, court records show.

He was quickly pursued by responding officers.

One of them, according to the criminal complaint, spotted the suspect kneeled down next to a parked gray sedan and placed a gun underneath its left rear tire.

Cops recovered the piece (a 9mm pistol containing six rounds of .380 caliber ammunition in the magazine and one chambered round), the papers say. The accused suspect was slapped with several weapons possession charges.

▀ East New York: Driver’s Donuts Turn Deadly At Dave & Buster’s Parking Lot

A woman sitting on a sidewalk outside a Dave & Buster’s parking lot breathed her last when a grandstanding motorist’s stunts caused him to lose control of the monster car and clip her.

The tragedy befalling the 21-year-old woman occurred on Gateway Drive at around 12:45 a.m. on July 13 started when the woman was struck by the driver’s white 2023 Genesis G80. Cops spoke to the driver and he allegedly admitted to “doing donuts” and that he “lost control” of the drifting ride — causing him to strike the onlooker, according to the criminal complaint.

The wounded young woman was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead by 2 a.m.

Cops took the driver into custody and hit him with criminally negligent homicide, reckless endangerment, and reckless driving. The suspect driver pleaded not guilty at arraignment and released on $10,000 surety bond. He is expected to appear back in court in November.

▀ East Flatbush: Shy Guy Chokes Person, Slashes Their Car, And Rooks Surveillance Camera

A bladerunner was too coy to let his knife work be fit for public consumption.

The 38-year-old man was allegedly stirring up trouble inside and outside of East 91st Street and Church Avenue at around 9 p.m. on July 1. First, the knife-wielding perpetrator entered a home and broke a table as he allegedly choked out his target.

Authorities say the suspect then marched out and with the same knife targeted the resident’s parked car. The accused allegedly slashed the car’s cover and then before making his getaway — “took a surveillance camera” from its mount on the victim’s home.

He didn’t get far.

Cops managed to track down the suspect and he was subsequently charged with a barrage of crimes including criminal obstruction of breathing, attempted assault, weapons possession, criminal mischief, menacing, and burglary.

▀ Flushing: Metal-Bending Brute Destroys Man’s Motorcycle

A suspect tried to take off with a man’s hog — only to fail and bend the handlebars into disrepair.

The 21-year-old rabble-rousing suspect was picked up outside a home along Utopia Parkway near 32nd Avenue on July 25 after allegedly invading a home’s gate where his motorcycle was parked.

The motorhead aficionado was witnessed attempting to wheel away the machine. When it proved to be too Herculean, authorities say the accused brawn man imploded and then “twisted” the handlebars to a point where they became nonfunctional.

Still, the superman-strength suspect who was forced to walk off without the motorcycle was tracked down, cuffed and facing grand larceny, criminal mischief, and trespass.

▀ Cambria Heights: 70 Y.O. Man Gashed By Fire Poker Striking Goon

An elderly man suffered a savage attack at the hands of a man more than 20 years his junior.

At around 4 a.m. on July 12, the 70–year-old was inside of his home located on 223rd Street near 116th Avenue. Authorities say the suspect, 48, allegedly was in a dispute with the resident and then grabbed hold of a fire poker and "struck him on the head," according to the criminal complaint.

The bleeding man crumbled and was then rushed to a local hospital where medics had to use seven stables to dress the gaping wound. “I have nothing to say about that,” the victim said.

Authorities charged the fire poker pugilist with assault (victim 65 or older), assault with a weapon, and criminal possession of a weapon with intent to use.

▀ Morrisania/Concourse Village: Nabbed Outlaw Bodega Bilker Who Threatened To ‘Slaughter’ Clerk, Gave Cops Slip Before Recapture

A wanted bandit was finally caught — until he broke free and had to be lassoed again.

The 34-year-old perpetrator was outside of Bronx Criminal Court back on July 4 when he broke free from his restraints and tried to make a freedom run. But the officers managed to track the escapee down and get him properly booked.

The accused was brought to bear for allegedly knocking off Munchies Deli located on East 168th Street and Webster Avenue back on April 15, 2024. Authorities say the accused, who was 32 then, stepped behind the counter to the register and was scolded by the clerk who commanded: “Get out of here!”

But the suspect ignored him.

Instead, he allegedly hissed, “Give me $50 or I will slaughter you.” The suspect found $60 underneath the till and took off on foot.

Authorities brought escape and obstruction of governmental administration for trying to lam and then formally charged him with menacing, petit larceny, weapons possession, and harassment for the outstanding warrant for the bodega score.

▀ Fort Wadsworth: Door-Destroying Fiend Threatens To ‘Beat You Up’ Rival

A man fixing for a showdown with a woman claimed to have a posse of scrappers with him.

He and his backup showed up at a home at around 2:30 a.m. on July 5. The 34-year-old suspected homewrecker allegedly brandished a pistol when he kicked the front door of a home — shattering the lock.

“Get the f– out of the house,” he allegedly squawked. “I have nine [N-word] waiting outside to beat you up.” The suspect didn’t have nine cohorts. But he allegedly one pal primed to fight, according to the criminal complaint.

Together, they yanked the helpless woman out of the house and punched her several times. Cops caught up to the alleged woman-beater three days afterward.

The suspect faces a raft of charges from burglary, assault, menacing, criminal mischief, harassment, and trespass.

▀ Soundview: ‘I’m Gonna Need Your Car!’: Armed Carjacker Concocts Canard, Then Crashes Hot Wheels

He had the gun and a story to try and dupe a man out of his SUV.

A 24-year-old is up to his ears in trouble after he allegedly pulled a pistol at a driver. It was around 10:30 p.m. on July 5 when authorities say the suspect stepped up to a driver of a gray Chevy Traverse that was stopped at Ward Avenue near Watson Avenue.

“Someone just tried to rob me, I’m going to need your car,” was the tale he allegedly told. Seeing the business end of the gun, the driver exited the ride to let the “robbed” gunman take off.

Cops were quick to the scene and their arrival had the suspect peeling out in reverse. The hasty action led to the suspected car thief smashing into the front of another car.

The suspect then allegedly shifted the gear forward and tried to flee. But the crash victim trailed him. The effort didn’t sit well with the accused carjacker.

Raising a black and silver pistol toward the crashed driving gumshoe — he allegedly told him: “Back the f— up.” The suspect didn’t travel far and was soon a passenger in a cruiser heading to be booked on robbery, grand larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property.

▀ Tompkinsville: Slugging Shoplifter Suffers Amnesia When Caught Gulping Malt Liquor In Street

A thirsty man’s happy hour in the street turned somber fast. At around 10:45 p.m. on July 11, the 48-year-old man was seen nursing an open can of Olde English malt beer while standing on the busy intersection Bay Street and Victory Boulevard.

Pressed by officers for his name — the accused allegedly offered a bogus first name but his real surname. The fake persona didn’t hide his past.

After figuring out who he actually is, cops tied him to an outstanding strong-arm robbery of a Family Dollar store. The suspect allegedly was inside of the store back at around 9 p.m. on Jan. 31 when he swiped Slim Jims, fabric softener, and detergent and then tried to zip off without paying for them.

When a store clerk tried to intervene — the accused leveled multiple punches to the hero’s face.

Beyond the false personation charge, the suspect was also slapped with the original robbery, assault of a retail worker, criminal possession of stolen property, and consumption of alcohol on streets for the brew.

▀ Shore Acres: ‘Let’s Shoot 1-Versus-1’: Texting Tough Caught Week After Phone Salvo

He challenged a gal rival to a gun duel… via text. And when that fell on blind eyes, authorities say the suspect threatened to break the window with rocks.

A 19-year-old was busted for running his big mouth. The fighting words were hurled back at around 2 p.m. on July 1.

The suspect was standing outside of Sylavton Terrace near Bay Street. “Let’s shoot [sic] one versus one, swallow bullets,” the man allegedly beamed over the phone to the woman. “Tell ya b— she getting beat up.”

He allegedly wasn’t done. “I am gonna f– you up, throw rocks at your window,” he allegedly texted. “I am smoking everyone.”

The mass murder commination was met with the recipient calling the cops. Seven days later, the suspect was cuffed and is now facing both aggravated harassment and harassment raps.

▀ Crayola Critters (East Hartford, CT)

Two squirrels were targeted by a dastardly weasel armed with paint.

Two squirrels frolicking around green terrain were painted each a single loud hue of pink and blue.

“They appear to be okay but we are looking to identify who is responsible for this,” animal control added. 

An official with the state Department of Energy and Environmental Protection (DEEP) called the incident “a new one for us”.

“DEEP has not received reports of painted squirrels before.” 

The concern is that the new colored fur coat would hinder their natural camouflage to ward away predators.

The incident isn’t isolated.

Last year, 62-year-old Mark Kuhn of the Town of Patterson in upstate New York, copped to coating the squirrels with apple red Rust-Oleum Paint + Primer” in order to “keep track of those returning to his yard and causing his dog to bark.”

Kuhn was found out on Dec. 28, 2023, when Environmental Conservation Officers (ECOs) trailed a red squirrel sprinting across the man’s home and deducing at that time he had captured, painted, and then released the furry creatures to a local park.

The Putnam County SPCA hit him with three counts of poisoning or attempting to poison animals — a misdemeanor under New York Agriculture and Markets Law.

▀ Drivers Shooed From Raging On School Grounds (Warwick Township, PA)

The grownups are facing a grounding.

At around 4:30 p.m. on Sept. 8, cops were called to Jamison Elementary School on Land Road for a disturbance call.

Two motorists — one in a car and a rival roaring on a white motorcycle — were warring and engaged in a high-speed chase that breached the learning institution’s property with kids on the playground.

Staffers managed to confront the motorcyclist and forced him to take his beef farther away from the tots.

Arnab China: My son was there are well - just before I picked him up. Hope there's a camera footage from the school security perimeter, which can help identify this person.

▀ Goon Wings Birds (Seaside, NJ)

«SOURCE»

▀ Rim Raiders (Ozone Park, New York)

A trio was captured by a bystander recording within eyeshot rolled away with a beamer’s rims.

In just minutes, the unsavory pit crew managed to detatch the wheels and tires.

The footage shows three motoring up in a white car with a distorted license plate.

They side up to a white BMW parked on a quiet block.

The deviants clad in hoodies and masking their mugs went to work unfastening each wheel.

Each wheel is plucked from its axle with almost flawless precision.

One can be seen manning the jack up and down while the cronies collect the lugnuts and stow wheels into the trunk and backseat of their idling getaway car.

While they may have thought they were slick — one of the crew gazes around and spots a rogue cameraman capturing their greasy doings.

The bandit in the grey sweatshirt first points upward and then spreads his arms in an almost unspoken plea to stop snooping.

▀ Creep-O-Rama On Coney-Bound N-Train

A sicko was captured leering with his tablet at a woman seated next to him on a Coney Island-bound N-Train.

While the date can’t be confirmed, the video gives a glimpse of the subtle ways perverts work their peeping with their respective devices.

The older man is seated on facing the woman who is facing away from him.

The short video shows him holding up his tablet and zooming in on the crossed legs of the unawares woman, dressed in shorts and an oversized light pink T-shirt.

He clearly can be seen pressing the “record” button and repeatedly zooming in on her legs and then out to capture the young woman who is distracted by whatever she is listening to on her Airpods.

@1962peace: go up to him and tell him to cut the shit

@duchess315: F NYC

@Pazzamamma4: I don't know why anyone wants to live in NYC 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧

@133D5151337: More like Sikfook tom

@TomTommybb: All kind of weirdos out there.

@RustyNutz_22: Man, I would have slapped the shit outta him...

@vextor_xbt: Thats big Dude What

@ShelbyJ67270321: Creeper

*Arrests do not constitute guilt and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter as it's known at the time of publishing. So in most cases the persons suspected of breaking the law haven't been convicted. It's possible that some or all of charges brought against them may be reduced, withdrawn, or expunged.

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