BY: M.L. Nestel 

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A loose cannon walloped three people and racked up two raps. 

In the early evening of June 26, the 32-year-old tough was first cuffed after he allegedly tackled an 80-year-old and tripped a 76-year-old. The elders were walking along East 24th Street when authorities say they ate asphalt. 

Their menace allegedly took the oldest to the ground and then after feigning a punch to the 76-year-old, ended up tripping the person. He then allegedly fled the scene. 

Weeks later, on the afternoon of August 4, the suspect allegedly went out for round two. This time he had been lurking around Park Avenue South to find more prey. 

He allegedly first targeted a 31-year-old woman — throwing a basket at her head. Then, a man claimed his wrist was wounded by the brawler. 

This time he didn’t get away. 

The accused was lassoed and hit with several charges of assault, menacing, and harassment for the separate jumps. He has since pleaded not guilty.

▀ Upper West Side: Quarrel With Roommate Ends in Bloody Scissors Stabbing

Flaring tempers ended with an ambulance ride to get stitched up at the ER.  

A 43-year-old man lost his cool, and with a pair of shears he allegedly stabbed his younger roommate twice. Cops say minutes after midnight, the suspect was inside of the pad situated on West 97th Street near Riverside Drive and jawing with the 32-year-old counterpart. 

So explosive was their clash that law enforcement sources say the elder picked up a pair of scissors and slashed the roomie once in the gut and another time in the left arm. 

The victim was taken to a hospital and recovered from the attack. Meanwhile, the accused was quickly nabbed that same night and faces an assault rap. 

Get him some toilet training tout de suite. 

A pee-brain was caught tanked on some kind of drug while riding the rails. Then the suspected inebriated numbskull allegedly decided to take a whiz right off of the ledge. 

Back at around 4 p.m. on August 4, cops say the 39-year-old was witnessed appearing extra tipsy as he was wobbling by a northbound no. 4 train subway train platform. 

He allegedly stood between two train cars and dropped trou to “urinate in the subway station,” according to the criminal complaint. A police detail approached the potty perp but he allegedly flailed and fought off his removal from the train tracks three times, the papers say. 

The accused was hit with charges of littering in the subway, obstructing governmental administration, and appearing under the influence of a narcotic drug. 

The suspect pleaded not guilty at arraignment and is due back before a judge in October.  

Old-timer smack and crack dealers can’t catch any breaks these days. 

A crew of elders accused of pushing heroin was nabbed attempting to eradicate their supply.  At around 1 p.m. on July 28, the trio of men, ages 67, 70, and 74, were met by cops after allegedly attempting to move some glassine bags of the stuff on the corner of Euclid and Sutter avenues. 

The geezers then allegedly were seen ripping open the bags of heroin and tossing the poison onto a lawn. They were then cuffed. A search of the men’s pockets yielded four glassine sleeves of heroin and two vials of cocaine. 

Minutes before 8 p.m. that same day, cops ran on a separate call where a 45-year-old man was spotted scoffing the law on a Slane e-bike along the sidewalk around 5th Avenue and 53rd Street.

Officers managed to stop the two-wheeler acrobat after he was in park. They searched him and found an unknown amount of heroin. The trio all pleaded not guilty during their first appearance in court and are due back in court in October.  

A man was caught hocking oral sex. Only his would-be customer turned out to be an undercover NYPD cop. 

The 46-year-old suspect was busted minutes after midnight on August 1 while allegedly tricking along Roosevelt Avenue near 76th Street, a known hub for sex workers. He allegedly offered his oral sex services to the male undercover in return for $60, according to the criminal complaint. 

The suspect was cuffed and slapped with prostitution charges. He pleaded not guilty at arraignment, court records show.

She wasn’t bashful about her alleged bonfire she kindled in her baby daddy’s bedroom. 

“What’s going on,” the 38-year-old scorned woman allegedly blabbed at the bravest, who at 1 a.m. on August 6 entered the man’s fourth-floor apartment plotted on 195th Street and Jamaica Avenue. 

She added, “I started the fire. It’s my baby daddy’s apartment. When he comes back I’ll kill him or start the fire again.” The woman didn’t stop singing. 

Authorities say it started with two cigarette lighters on a mattress in the bedroom and then the spreading flames became so intense they made the living room “unrecognizable” and reduced to “ashes,” according to the criminal complaint. The accused allegedly continued taking credit for the fire, confirming the specific apartment number and detailing her alleged incendiary deed. 

“He should be dead! He should be dead. He should be dead,” she repeated.

The woman continued: “I lit the fire! He should be unalive.”

There is no proof of anybody dying or even being wounded. 

But the woman insisted the fire should have snuffed her ex-; he hadn’t been home for three days. Cops searched the woman’s purse and discovered two cigarette torches. 

The suspect was charged with multiple arson raps. 

At arraignment, she pleaded not guilty.

He was keyed up. 

A not-so-slippery thief was lassoed with U.S. Postal Office arrowhead etched keys. 

The suspect’s handiwork made a debut on a surveillance camera. The 52-year-old man was seen in the owner’s footage back on July 24 taking a package from a home. 

The man allegedly chose an especially small hour of 2 a.m. to target the building on 82nd Street and 37th Avenue. 

Cops say he was seen clad in a black T-shirt and black pants and a hat and operating a key to open the mailbox and plucking a package out of it before scampering off. 

The same suspect allegedly scouting around the same nabe. 

But eagle-eyed cops spotted him and quickly brought him under arrest. They say the perpetrator was in possession of an authentic arrowhead key with the letters “U.S.P.S.” etched into it. 

He now faces possession of burglary, petit larceny, burglar’s tools, and possession of a forged instrument.

He was mumbling gibberish. But his weapon appeared to be all business. 

A 42-year-old man was nabbed at around noon on July 29. Authorities rushed to an apartment complex on Nelson Avenue near the Edward L. Grant Highway. They were informed that a gunman was inside the top floor of the edifice and pointing a rifle at a man while waxing “unintelligible words,” according to the criminal complaint. 

Officers from the elite ESU unit managed to approach the suspect and get him to consent to a search of his flat. They quickly discovered an Alpha Black X Caliber Imitation Air Rifle. The accused aggressor then managed to find some coherent words, telling cops: “It’s a paintball gun.”

He was booked on menacing, weapons, harassment and unlawful use of an imitation pistol charges. The rap comes a year after the suspect was about to defend against an open burglary and criminal trespassing case in Midtown Manhattan.   

An unwanted interloper was banished from a man’s home — only to sneak back in and hold him up with two blades. 

The tenant was inside his apartment on Ornico Place back at around 12:30 a.m. on May 27. He demanded the then 19-year-old man (he’s since turned 20) to scram and never return. But that didn’t sit well with the man. 

For his leave was only temporary. He returned. But this time he didn’t knock on the door or ring a doorbell. He allegedly crawled through an unlocked window, according to the criminal complaint. 

Once inside, authorities say he turned extra surly: holding a knife and a pair of scissors to the throat of his dismisser. “I’ma kill you,” he allegedly barked. “I ain’t going anywhere.”

The suspect then bashed the innocent with the knife multiple times. He then allegedly rifled through the bludgeoned man’s pants pockets. From the rear pocket he allegedly snatched his ID card and fled.

Nearly a month ticked away until investigators nabbed the alleged accoster. Once in custody prosecutors brought a raft of charges against the man including robbery, burglary, grand larceny, assault, trespassing, harassment and menacing. 

The accused pleaded not guilty and was released on $25,000 cash ($50,000 bond).   

A brazen menace was picked up after allegedly jimmying a window with bolt cutters and drawing a Taser before spray-painting a cryptic letter on the dwelling’s front door and fleeing.

The 37-year-old crook stands accused of breaching an apartment window at around 1 p.m. on July 25 and once inside the flat aiming a Taser at the terrorized resident. 

Almost two hours elapsed before the suspect decided it was time to go. But before he left the domicile, he allegedly pulled out a spray paint canister and scrawled an “L” on the outside of the front door. 

Responding authorities managed to quickly make eyes on the suspect an hour later close by the burgled apartment, according to the criminal complaint. 

The suspect, the papers say, was picked up with two bags tucked in his shorts pocket. 

One bag contained marijuana and was branded “Gelato.” The other unmarked bag contained “three white twists” that were later determined to be cocaine. 

Charges of menacing, criminal mischief, drugs, and making graffiti, among others, were brought. 

His fat thumb and maniacal imagination may punch his ticket to the slammer.

The 43-year-old landed himself in hot water racking up 67 counts of false reporting an incident on everything from make-believe teens tripping on drugs to molestations, and nude flashing sickos. He’s also facing obstruction of governmental administration and aggravated harassment.

For every alleged 911 dial, authorities say the phone fiend flipped one whopper after the next. 

His yarn stitching suspected “unfounded” terror and grotesque acts began around the turn of the New Year and bookended just before Valentine’s Day. 

Phone call after phone call was placed out of an apartment complex on Fairmont Place in the Tremont section of the Bronx.

Poor 911 dispatchers would have to hear him allegedly invent anything from young rascals misbehaving to parents loading up on liquor and crack to reporting evil sexual attacks, according to the criminal complaint reviewed by the Blotter.

And yet when police details zipped over to the apartment to check it out — they appeared to have been duped.

Swatted.  

And it wasn’t just the incident that he managed to detail during the panic-stricken calls. But also crafting the tall tales with intricate details like a mad woman’s red-dyed hair, a knife toter wearing pajama pants, and a diabolical hood missing teeth. 

-The night of Jan. 3, cops say the man reported a “heavy Hispanic woman” was smoking weed with 13-year-olds. A couple hours later he would allegedly call to inform that the teens who had been smoking weed were now “engaging in sexual acts”.

-On Jan. 22, cops say the suspect called 911 recounting how he had been disturbed by a 10-year-old child inside of an apartment “possibly being sexually assaulted” by a 6-foot-2 man with a red hat and winter coat. He claimed to overhear the molestor tell the innocent tot, “Be quiet, this is our little secret.”

-Days later on Jan. 27, the suspect called to report a woman in a colorful dress was “flashing herself… to children” and that onlookers were not covering the kids’ eyes but inciting the twisted striptease by plying her with drugs as tips.

-The next day, cops say the suspect accused one of the tenants of attempting to lure a 4-year-old girl into an apartment “for lewd acts”.  The brute was described by the suspect as clad in a red hat and a “bright pink coat”. 

-On Feb. 1, the alleged 911 serial caller accused a neighbor of ripping off his Ring doorbell camera. 

-The following day the same suspect is believed to have rang dispatchers to report a quarrel between two lovers. During their spat — the suspect allegedly accused the boyfriend of bloviating that he “would kill him and shoot through his door”. (That call had cops calling for a sergeant to check it out, the papers say.)

-On Feb. 4, a call came in suggesting a mentally disturbed dad announced he “will kill himself and his family”. 

-A day later, there was a schizophrenic couple in an apartment that he claimed were offering their 13-year-old son to drug dealers “for sexual favors”. 

-On Feb. 9, a woman in a pink robe was yet again flashing people while a man, supposedly high as a kite, pacing around the building with a kitchen knife in hand and “threatening people”. 

-Another call the day after had a young boy being controlled by Svengali mother who was sending him around the complex to “take packages”. 

The calls finally quit before sun-up on Feb. 11. 

Notably, every single one proved to be “unfounded” and “had not occurred”.

But beyond the time and treasure sucked from the dispatchers during that stretch of time — the calls also had cops “leaving their patrol duty and preventing them from responding to other calls for assistance by members of the public,” according to the complaint. 

Months after the phone call barrage the same suspect ran into some more trouble. 

The suspect was allegedly captured on a Ring camera approaching a neighbor’s door. 

He was captured grabbing a toy car on the floor and using it to bash to bits the surveillance device twice. 

The unprovoked demo with the weaponized toy car had him on police radar yet again; this time for criminal mischief and criminal possession of a weapon.

//

~NOTE: THE CAPER HAS SIMILAR HALLMARKS TO AN EARLIER INCIDENT …

West Farms: “My Ex Has A Gun!” ... Man Cried Wolf On Ex-Galpal Over 40 Times

He’s a serial 911 crank caller. 

For nearly nine months, a  29-year-old became a 911 pest for dispatchers; racking up scores of incidents that he allegedly invented in his deranged mind. 

“My ex has a gun in the apartment,” he blabbed back in late June of last year. 

The cops rushed to the woman’s Honeywell Avenue apartment to discover it was a ruse and that she was unarmed.  The same detail played the voice of the caller and she quickly confirmed it was that of her ex-boyfriend. 

Several of the same kind of bogus calls were placed stretching several months. And each one mimicked the last: the same man dialing 911 to placate his ex inside of her Honeywell home as an armed attacker.  And each time the cops treated the incident as a legitimate active threat and realized instantly they were being had.

Here are some of the incidents that ultimately led to his Feb. 17 arrest:

-The same caller allegedly informed a dispatcher to the woman’s Honeywell a: “My ex has a gun in the apartment… having an argument.” 

-The suspect called to declare that he “saw a gun” and that a “woman with red hair had it.”

-“I need police. I just saw my ex with a gun,” was the man’s alleged story that didn’t check out. 

-In one incident, the suspect accused the woman of trying “to fight me with a knife.” 

-He even allegedly more than once pretended to be a police officer in one incident, stating, “I need backup! My name is Officer Gonzalez, Shield Number 2147 — and I just saw a woman with a firearm at [sic], fourth floor.” 

-Another time he claimed there was a leak at the woman’s apartment, declaring on the 911 phone call: I need the fire department! I smell gas on the fourth floor!”

-One call had the suspect claiming that a fight was occurring inside the woman’s flat and that “they keep saying they have a gun!”

-In another faux scenario, the suspect allegedly accused his ex of “holding a gun in a fight with her new boyfriend.”

-The same alleged crank caller told authorities in another instance that “there was a homeless person with a gun. I saw him.”

Once collared, authorities managed to bring a raft of charges on the suspect including weapons possession, assault, menacing, and harassment.

▀ Train Surfer Lassoed (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)

A police drone put the kibosh on a daredevil’s day of disrepute.

At around 4 p.m. on April 2, the eye in the sky was hovering over a J subway train that had stopped on Hewes Street station.

Cops say Isaiah Thompson, 29, of Queens was clinging to the back of the railed vessel.

The officers radioed to the train operator and eventually crawled to a stop.

The sucker was met by a handful of NYPD officers who played the welcoming committee taking Thompson into custody. Prosecutors later hit him with reckless endangerment.

Thompson apparently had racked up over a dozen subway surfing priors all over town dating back to 2018.

NYPD drones have been operational since December of 2018 to lend support to, among many crises… shootings in progress, building structural integrity inspections, distressed swimmers at beaches to searching for suspects on rooftops.

Last year, the NYPD launched the "Drone as a First Responder" program and now have operators in six precincts.

For the entire annual of 2024, the NYPD has logged 135 drone-assisted busts detecting subway surfers.

Among the many subway lines favored by the surfers, the no. 7 line is especially attractive for its an open air line that runs past Mets HQ at Citi Field in Queens.

WATCH: «DRONE VIDEO»

▀ You’re Messing With The Wrong Shoeless Joe!

A motorist went supersonic to prevent his ride from reaching its impound destination.

Footage of the apparent driver shows the poor soul rushing to the black car that’s already hitched to the truck and in motion.

The presumed shoeless owner in the tank top and shorts boldly opens the driver’s door and hops into the car. And soon enough the fella can be seen standing out of the sunroof in a sublime scene that stopped even the most jaded city denizen.

SOURCE: nyshittynews

WATCH: «VIDEO»

*Arrests do not constitute guilt and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter as it's known at the time of publishing. So in most cases the persons suspected of breaking the law haven't been convicted. It's possible that some or all of charges brought against them may be reduced, withdrawn, or expunged.

CONTACT: [email protected]

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