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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00152 — 06-17-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Charleston: Gal Busted 20 Years After A Scratch Attack Against A Target Shopper For $7 Squeeezy Butter Stick
IT WAS SUCH a salty shakedown that the cops apparently never forgot.
A woman, now 57, was witnessed shaking down a 28-year-old woman shopper for her just-purchased 10-inch Squeeezy Butter toy from a Target store on Veteran Road back on the morning of May 13, 2006.
The suspect demanded the toy.
When shopper resisted, the overstressed perp allegedly went on a scratching assault.
She then pried the stress toy (retails for around $5.99) from her mitts.
On June 15 of this year — the butter bilker was busted.
The toy, which is yellow in color, and looks like an oversized 8 tablespoon stick of butter bills itself as a toy that “always bounces back to its original shape, ensure the fun never curdles.”
For 20 years the selfish churning chump was sitting pretty. At least she thought so.
But now she was lassoed and brought up in Staten Island Criminal Court on Tuesday.
The suspect pleaded not guilty and released on her own recognizance.
She’s due back in court on Aug. 13.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Washington Heights: Scooter Psycho Tries Shaking Cops Tailing Him Before Smashing Into Cruiser
WHENEVER YOU’RE SEEING the red and blue lights flashing in the rearview — normally it’s time to slow down to a stop and pull over.
One 28-year-old scooter rider wasn’t quite savvy to such road rule repercussions.
In fact, he was determined to try and evade the fuzz.
The hijinx took place on the night of May 27.
The rider was wearing a helmet but wasn’t that careful when it came to stopping at a red light. As he entered the intersection of Amsterdam Avenue and West 157th Street he blew through a red light.
And it was all witnessed by a police detail.
The cop likely had the routine intent of pulling him over and issuing a simple traffic ticket. But now the officer was in a hot pursuit of the road warrior.
It didn’t matter.
Because the speedster didn’t get very far at all and soon lost control of his two wheel machine and consequently careened into a police cruiser.
The suspect was dinged for reckless driving, reckless endangerment, and also (of all things) driving without a license.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Concourse Village: Courthouse Pyromaniac Admits ‘Yes, I Lit The Garbage On Fire… Arrest Me!’
FOUR FIRES. FOUR trash cans.
All set alight at the courthouse.
That was the predicament that cops were forced to wrangle back on the afternoon of June 11.
Authorities detailed at the Bronx County Hall Of Justice spotted a 25-year-old suspect reaching into one of the four trash cans to start a fire.
After the blazes were extinguished — the cops rushed to the perp and he apparently took much joy (as well as all the credit) for the courthouse BBQ.
“Yes, I lit the garbage on fire,” he allegedly boasted. “Arrest me!”
The man’s pockets were searched where officers pulled out a white lighter.
He was quickly given the business that included changes of arson and criminal mischief (damage property).
Sound familiar?
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Brooklyn Heights: Incontinent Sneaks Into Subway Tunnel To Take Leak
SOMEONE DIDN’T TELL a middle aged man that the subway (while it may reek of piss and rat pheromones) isn’t an actual makeshift toilet.
But he didn’t get the unspoken memo.
A few clicks before 8 a.m. on May 3 cops say a 57-year-old wandered past the station boundary — and onto the tracks..
He allegedly ignored the posted signage prohibiting entry and was spotted dropping his pants and going number one on the 2 and 3 train track rails.
The relieved suspect was nailed for disorderly conduct and littering and dumping of rubbish and refuse.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ JFK Airport: Traveler Busted Trying To Board Jet With Loaded Pistol
AN INACTIVE DEPUTY thought it wise to pack unlawful heat before boarding a flight.
The 68-year-old may have lapsed that he no longer is a member of service while trying to board a morning plane destined to Syracuse.
The unscrupulous traveler had his satchel searched by TSA at around midnight on May 28.
The agents at Terminal 4 discovered a loaded Ruger LCP Max .380 pistol with a magazine containing 10 rounds of ammunition, according to the criminal complaint.
The suspect allegedly attempted to prove he was a law man.
He showed the agent his Nassau County Provisional Deputy Sheriff badge.
But when the TSA checked closer they determined the the man’s status was “Not Active”.
The man was brought up on criminal possession of a loaded firearm and criminal possession of a firearm at a sensitive location.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Paint On Rails (New York, NY)
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▀ Cyber Tagged (New York, NY)
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⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Vintage Travel (New York, NY)
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▀ Canal Street + Westside Highway (Lower Manhattan, NY)
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⬛ ET. AL
▀ FDRrrrrrr (New York, NY)
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▀ Traffic Stopper (New York, NY)
▀ Car Craned (New York, NY)
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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