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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00104 — 04-14-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Hungry Heister Took Nobu For Nearly 3 Benjamins
SHE HAS A five star palette. And packs a wallop of a punch.
A 34-year-old was imbibing and dining at Nobu Fifty Seven late night on April 5.
The woman was chomping down on the gourmet sushi fare, where a Shitake salad with spicy lemon dressing and lobster sells for $72 and a Lychee martini sets back deep-pocketed patrons $22.
When the damage arrived in the form of a $241 tab — the woman must have thought it was her birthday and she was grubbing a pro gratis Grand Slam at Denny’s.
The woman allegedly tried to skirt out without paying.
As she was doing the dine-and-ditch dance out the door two employees — a 27-year-old woman and a 64-year-old man — tried to block the door to prevent her from leaving and the accused freeloader punched them both.
One of her punches sent the young woman to the ground while the other struck the man in his face.
Running on the larceny call, cops tracked down the brawling food fleecer and slapped her with failure to pay based on stealth, assault, and harassment.
Attempts by The Blotter to reach the culinary klepto were unsuccessful.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Rikers Island: Ex Jailer Nailed For Taking $3K Bribe For Smuggling Smokes, Cell Phone
A CROOKED, EX NYC Corrections Officer, who accepted bribes to smuggle contraband into the Rikers Island jail where he worked, learned his fate on Feb 26.
He will dodge hard time and instead get off with serving probation and paying a fine.
Kendell Felix, 38, had pleaded guilty to receiving a bribe on Jan. 8.
The suspect admitted that for two days in 2024 (Aug. 25 and Aug. 27)he smuggled 200 cigarettes and a cell phone into the North Infirmary Command.
For the subterfuge, Felix was rewarded with $3,000 cash by a prisoner.
Cigarettes are an especially valuable commodity in the lockup where smoking has long been prohibited. They sell for as much as $100 each and along with the cell phone, the estimated value behind bars of the contraband is about $15,000.
The prosecutors asked the judge for a one to three year prison sentence but they were overruled with the no-jail deal.
Felix, has since been axed from the DOC.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Bedford-Stuyvesant: Four Ballers Go Bust Playing Craps Game Behind Brick Building
SOME LOW ROLLERS were busted gambling outside a residential building.
At around 11:30 p.m. behind a brick building located on Gates Avenue off Throop Avenue — there were four marauders — all men ages 31, 35, 23, and 22 — all taking tangoing with Lady Chance by rolling the ivories for slick profits.
Officers were wise to the street dicers and took them into custody.
Officers collected the two dice and hauled away the four men and brought them up on promoting gambling and loitering (gambling in a public place).
The eldest 32-year-old was also hit for dealing crack and nursing an open bottle of hooch.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Flushing: Ex Lover Caught Secretly Recorded Romp On Phone
A WOMAN WAS horrified to learn her ex-boyfriend covertly captured them having sex.
To her shock, the woman happened to sneak a peek of her 21-year-old ex-beau’s phone back on Feb. 24.
She discovered one of the saved videos in his cache featured the two of them engaging in sex inside an apartment located on 57th Street off Broadway from the morning of March 9 of last year.
The victim allegedly knew she was the one being recorded without her permission in the hidden cam video “by her tattoo on her back,” according to the criminal complaint.
Her former lover was given the business by the cops and charged with unlawful surveillance.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Concord: Blitzed Woman Slurs ‘I Don’t Know What Happened!’ To Cop After Flipping Car
SHE JUST HAD two drinks.
At least she claimed just two.
A 47-year-old woman was dazed and confused while standing on Hylan Boulevard and Mallory Avenue by her overturned white 2020 Volkswagen Jetta.
Cops showed up back on the early morning of Feb. 12, where the driver was struggling to explain how she ended upside down on the road.
“I was driving,” she allegedly told the officers. “I was driving from Brooklyn.
“I don’t know what happened.”
As for her sobriety? She told the officers, “I had two drinks.”
The car was flushed with Beatbox drinks (three of them were unopened, but one was opened.
‘I had two drinks.’
When it was determined the woman was clearly not in a state to be able to drive, she was asked to be tested — but refused.
She was formally arrested and faces DWI and driving while ability impaired by the consumption of alcohol.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK
▀ Silos + Wads In ‘Plain View’ (Brooklyn, NY)
TOO INDISCREET DOPE peddlers were busted leaving their dope and ill-gotten gains in “plain view” and nabbed.
«SOURCE»
▀ Fresh Bust (Brooklyn, NY)
COPS SHOWED OFF a bunch of cash, single-serving powder, and a piece.
«SOURCE»
⬛ NYCTALGIC
▀ Cure All (Brooklyn, NY) - 1930s
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Loosen My Juice (Harlem, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Pantsless Train Surfer (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Tinderbox (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Skywalkers (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Bombers (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Choo Choo Invaders (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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