A SPAT INSIDE a heavily trafficked subway station led to an off-the-clock volunteer lieutenant in the NYPD’s auxiliary section drawing a gun and walloping a commuter. 

The 62-year-old man who (based on a LinkedIn profile) also worked shifts as a security supervisor at the Museum of Modern Art, was allegedly inside the Chambers Street subway station back at around 10 p.m. on Dec. 5. 

Words were traded and the elder sorta lawman took the arms and bashed the other in the head, causing him to bleed. 

Police picked up the pistol-whipper the next day. 

He allegedly told investigators the gun that he pulled wasn’t of the lethal variety. 

For he claims it was merely a starter pistol and he used it as a means to “scare” the person during their dustup.

A PERV HAD a gay old time at a subway station — giving himself a joyride — when a woman exiting a train saw the antics and clearly craved to undergo a lobotomy 

It was around 1 a.m. on Oct. 13, when the 33-year-old suspect was inside the station and allegedly masturbating. 

As a train rumbled into the station, a 45-year-old woman exiting out of the doors spotted the act and informed cops of the onanist. 

Perhaps embarrassed or finished, the perv skidaddled out of the station. 

Months later, investigators caught up to the sicko and he was forced to enjoy his Christmas Day ham in the clink.

That was the day prosecutors leveled the perp with lewdness (exposure of a person) and harassment.

HE PUT ON a solo act, grossing out customers at Dunkin’ Donuts. 

The 36-year-old apparently couldn’t keep his hands out of his pants back at around lunchtime on Dec. 28. 

Authorities say the perv was inside the donut shop linked to a strip mall dotted on Linden Boulevard and Rockaway Avenue. 

The uncontrollable debauchee allegedly started rubbing his appendage “up and down” to the horror of two women at the donut shop, according to the criminal complaint. 

Cops caught up to the creepy crawler after the stomach-churning performance. 

He was slapped with exposure of a person, lewdness, trespass, and harassment.

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A WOMAN’S MORNING commute turned into a rogue rumble and then sudden blackout. 

The 68-year-old straphanger was aboard a 7 train as it was arriving into the Main Street station at around 9 a.m. on Dec. 23. 

All of a sudden, the elder rider was felled by a haymaker landed by a fist-swinging 32-year-old woman slugger. 

What’s more, authorities say the younger woman’s cross punch was allegedly completely unprovoked. 

Cops were at the ready to collar the gal gladiator and nailed her for assault (victim 65 or older).

A WOMAN SNARED a woman for her money and meds. 

The 28-year-old was walloped by a maniac outside a home on Nicholas Avenue at around 11 a.m. on Dec. 20. 

The victim said she was outside a home and was accosted by a scruffy man donning a green hoodie, black pants, black sneakers who punched her several times. 

He then took off with $400 cash and prescription meds. 

The surly one didn’t get far. 

He was nabbed a day later on several charges including robbery, strangulation, assault, and criminal mischief.

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A SUSPENDED DRIVER was stopped after rolling all over the road while cloaking the license plate.

Miguel Palacios, 38, of the Bronx, was traffic stopped and found to be motoring without a valid license, and carrying both a pretend pistol and brass knuckles.

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THE NYPD IS looking for the finest of the furriest.

The agency is attempting to recruit top dogs to sniff out, ruff streets and underground subway systems.

The city is expected to expend $184,000 over the next two years to purchase 20 new adept explosive-detecting dogs from trainers to augment the current NYPD's Transit Counter-Terrorism Unit's K-9 patrols in transit citywide.

The proposal seeks to beef up on four-legged patrols starting April 1 of this year and contract through March 31, 2029.

The police pooches will be “deployed to perform sweeps of crowded subway platforms, busy mezzanines, stairs, escalators and similar environments. Canines must be capable of operating in conditions involving a barrage of noises, near moving parts, and overlapping odors.”

It continues: “Their temperament must be bold enough to remain focused, undistracted and effective in many underground transit settings, yet docile enough to safely operate in close proximity to over 5.7 million passengers daily."

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

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