A CASH-STRAPPED CROOK tried to shakedown a man after he withdrew funds from an ATM.

It was shortly before 3:30 a.m. on Nov. 9 when the 42-year-old opportunist allegedly cased a man enter and then exit a Citibank ATM located on First Avenue and East 117th Street.

Flush with cash, the 47-year-old man headed back to his car and once he entered to sit in the driver’s seat — the thief sided up to him brandishing a box cutter, according to the criminal complaint.

The lowlife with even lower ambition considering he asked for $5 on this score was even shorted that much.

His mark gave him just one buck.

Cops say the dollar richer robber took off. But his getaway plan was especially lacking. And cops found him and the stolen $1.

He was formally charged wtih robbery (with a weapon).

A SCORNED PARAMOUR was mending in a hospital bed. And his kids left scarred from watching their dad and their mom’s new boyfriend engage in a motel parking lot throwdown that left them “exposed” to their dad’s gushing blood.

The three-way bout took place some minutes after 11 a.m. on Nov. 1, according to criminal complaint. The mother, 21, was with her new lover at the Pelham Garden Motel located on Spaulding Avenue. (Surely they were just enjoying a morning tea and crumpets.)

But interrupting their discourse (or perhaps intercourse) was the woman’s 23-year-old hopping mad ex-boyfriend.

Overcome with jealousy, the ex confronted the pair. Both men dueled, their grappling contest going to the ground. Then, the new beau took hold of a knife and used it to stab the cuckolding baby daddy twice in the leg.

The stabbed dad’s kids, an infant and a four-year-old, “suffered distress in that they began to cry and were exposed to [their dad’s] blood,” reads the criminal complaint.

Cops arrived to discover the gory scene and broke up the pugilists.

They took in custody the mother and her new flame. They both were slapped with assault (with a knife), menacing, aggravated harassment, and weapons possession.

SHE’S SWINGING FOR the grand slammer.

A slugger was pinched after going on a tear in a rented truck lifting of all things… baseball bats.

The 36-year-old suspect was allegedly using the rental U-Haul 2025 Ford transit van to go on out-of-state heists to score the items.

She allegedly checked out the ride on Aug. 4 using another woman’s ID. She was supposed to return it on Aug. 27, according to the criminal complaint.

But the van remained outstanding.

That changed on Oct. 16, when an officer approached the U-Haul as it was parked on 20th Avenue and 60th Street. She was in the car as the engine was running.

When the cop attempted to confront the accused she bolted on foot.

However, her lightspeed gait failed her as she was quickly scooped up.

A looksee at the cargo in the van turned up two dozen baseball bats; tallying well over $3,000.

Some dot-connecting determined that days before on Oct. 15 — there were two thefts of baseball bats from two different Dick’s stores.

One took place from a store in Montgomery, Pennsylvania where someone took off with 17 baseball bats. Another seven baseball bats were looted from a Dicks in Willow Grove, Pennsylvania, the papers say.

The woman was charged with criminal impersonation, unlawful possession of personal ID, identity theft (to obtain goods) criminal possession of stolen property (in excess of $3k), and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.

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SHE WANTED TEN bucks and the stranger she coaxed obliged.

It wasn’t enough.

At around 2 a.m. on Nov. 1, the 23-year-old panhandler stepped to a man who was walking along Broadway near Elmhurst Avenue.

She allegedly asked for the ten spot and the man pulled out his wallet, opened it and pulled out the note.

As he was returning the wallet to his pants pocket, authorities say the woman got greedy. She tried to take the wallet.

But she didn’t realize the man’s wallet was chained to his belt.

The woman became extra surly, taking a knife in her pocket and sticking it into the man’s chest.

Having given up on the wallet — the thief instead ripped a gold chain off the stabbed man’s neck.

The victim was taken to a local hospital where he was suffering massive pain and forced to undergo a procedure involving a tube insterted into his chest to drain excess fluid buildup in his punctured lung.

Cops nabbed the slasher and she was booked on assault and robbery raps.

IT WAS A fight night at the LIB International Sports Bar.

A 65-year-old lynx loon had locked horns with another tippler shortly before 8:45 p.m. on Oct. 11 inside the watering hole located on Bay Street off Canal Street.

When tempers flared to breaking point, the suspect somehow pulled a golf club from somewhere and started refining his swing in a most unconventional way: taking practice shots at the patron.

“Back up,” he allegedly belted. “I’ll hit you.”

While the accused apparently didn’t make contact to tee off on his new enemy — he did whiff a bunch.

Cops arrived and ushered the demonic Jack Nicklas out in cuffs.

He faces menacing, criminal possession (for swinging the club in the bar), and harassment.

KIDS THOSE DAYS. They had places to be too. And in a pinch some hopped on the bumper of what was essentially a fuselage on wheels to glide through the blocks to reach their destinations (gripping ever so tightly to whatever they could — a ribbed piece of metal or an open window) of choice and hop right off.

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IT WAS ONE big clambake on the asphalt.

In the small hours of Nov. 8, revelers assembled on Ave J and Bay Parkway to take in the motorheads performing burnouts and donuts as fireworks were launched. Round and round they went with hangers-on popping out of the windows as the exhaust clouds the morning air.

It’s unclear if any of the folks were punished for their sleepless misdeeds.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

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