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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00245 — 09-28-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
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Not The Blotter. Everyday a patron gets a feast of news fare.
Please, please, please… with sugar on top…
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Roosevelt Island: ‘I Work For The MTA’: Faux Train ‘Cleaner’ Caught Snooping Around Subway Substation
HIS STORY DERAILED.
An underground crawler was busted trying to feign he was a city subway employee.
The 42-year-old man was found lurking around a subway system substation on Main Street on Randalls Island at around 1 p.m. on Aug. 31, according to the criminal complaint.
MTA police officers quizzed him about who he was and what he was up to loitering ignoring restricted areas with signage that reads “MTA Property: No Trespassing” and “For Authorized Personnel Use Only” — the suspect, clad in a baseball cap with “MTA” emblazoned on it allegedly wove quite the yarn.
“I’m a cleaner for the MTA,” he boasted. “I work for the MTA.”
The officers ran his name after he was unable to show them an employee ID or even an ID number to prove he was telling the truth.
Turns out the man’s name never showed up in the MTA database.
The suspect was taken down for criminal impersonation, Criminal trespass, and plain old trespass.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Soundview: Creep Posts Pics Of Gal Giving Him Fellatio, Warns ‘I Have 36 More Like That… I’ll Post Them!’
HE COULDN’T HELP himself.
A woman was disgusted to find out a former fling had been clandestinely chronicling their lovemaking.
And then was splashing it on Instagram.
The 21-year-old sicko beamed missives to the woman from his Fteley Avenue home back on the early morning of Feb. 25, the criminal complaint reads.
The perv sent the woman a text featuring the woman (her tattoos and breasts in wide view) with the goon’s member in her mouth.
He then followed up with another missive: “I have 36 more phones like that and I’ll post them.”
It wasn’t a bluff.
The unsavory already made good on the threats by posting several of the erotic moments they shared in what she thought was intimate — had already appeared on an Instagram account under a “vanity name”.
Cops closed in and on Aug. 24, the suspect was netted and he was brought up on public display of sexually explicit material.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Bedford Stuyvesant: Punk Sligs, Prevents Orthodox Jewish Man From Exiting Bodega Until He Declares ‘You Are A Superior Black Man’
A PERP WAS determined to not let a man leave a deli unless he heaped blandishments on him.
The suspect, 45, was inside the small store located on Stockton Street and Marcy Avenue back at around 9:30 a.m. on Sept. 1.
He and a man dressed in orthodox Jewish attire (dark trousers, a black coat, and either a fedora or velvet kippah-homburg hat) engaged in a verbal spat.
That drew a left hook that landed on the religious man’s hand.
When the defendant attempted to flee the pugilist, the unsavory allegedly blocked him.
‘I will not let you go until you say I am a superior black man.’
The only way he’d budge was on one condition.
He exclaimed, “I will not let you go until you say I am a superior black man.”
By this point the calvary arrived and they took the superior bully into custody.
He was hit with hate crime assault causing injury, hate crime aggravated harassment, hate crime menacing, and unlawful imprisonment.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Jamaica: Grandpa Slugging Goon Brandishes Blade At Woman Hissing, ‘I’ll Stab You!’
A NO GOOD fella decided to show off his brawn by decking an elder nearly twice his senior.
At around 11 a.m. on Aug. 26, cops say the 45-year-old tough first spooked a woman with a knife while was outside 125th Street and Jamaica Avenue.
Then he pounded a man nearly twice his senior.
“I’ll stab you,” he growled at the woman while holding a folding knife with all the hallmarks that he was willing to use it.
After that confrontation, the suspect then encountered a 75-year-old man and put a licking on him by splitting his lip.
Authorities nabbed the suspect and he was nailed for assault (elderly person over 65), weapons possession, menacing, and harassment.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ New Dorp: Irate Hammer-Swinging Homeowner To Man, ‘Mind Your Business Before I Fucking Kill You!’
HE LOST IT and then took a headshot.
Whoever it was that was standing inside the 32-year-old man’s Colfax Avenue home — they were about to get the business.
Tempers flared sometime around 8 p.m. on July 10.
‘Get the fuck out of my house!’
Or at least his did.
The resident who apparently couldn’t keep his cool turned against the other person and belted, “Get the fuck out of my house!”
He added, “Mind your business before I kill you!”
And he was not exaggerating.
For he immediately grabbed a hammer and started going for the man’s dome.
But in his rage, he swung and missed.
He struck a wall instead.
That swing and miss ended with him getting pinched for menacing, weapons possession, attempted assault, menacing, and harassment.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Not Whack (Bronx, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Teens Joyriding Car Disarmed (New York, NY)
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Cosa Nostra Walked (New York, NY) - Sept. 24, 1966
Santo Trafficante, the prime suspect in the 1957 Albert Anastasia slaying) following his bust)
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Hopping A Train (Harlem, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Street Brawlers (Brooklyn, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Back To The Hospital (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Lambada Line (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Big Talker To Clerk: ‘Fuck You, Your Mom, Your Pops… Bitch!’ (New Yorker, NY)
Didn’t end well…
«SOURCE»
▀ Floating Ferrari (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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