THE BLOTTER

ISSUE № 016 — 11-24-25

BY: M.L. Nestel

Illustration by Rob Weiss

The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.

⬛ MANHATTAN

Chinatown: ‘Charlie Kirk Copycats’ Desperado Nabbed Lodging 50 Mad Emails

She pressed send 50 times. And she wasn’t sharing fuzzy cat gifs.

A 30-year-old put klieg lights on herself for allegedly going on an email maelstrom, waging mortal threats against a man who had put in place a protection order to “cease all communications with me."

Between Sept. 10 and Sept. 23, authorities say the 44-year-old accused woman blasted the man’s inbox with 50 missives.

“Fuck all of you,” one, jotted to the man back at around 2 a.m. on Sept. 11 reads, according to the criminal complaint.

Later that day she rhetorically wrote: “How dare you.”

The next afternoon, the same villainous source send the man another note — this time tapping the assassination of conservative activist and founder of Turning Point USA Charlie Kirk.

“Lovely to hear about Charlie Kirk, by the way,” the note states, “I heard that certain crimes can cause copycats.”

The sinister nature of that note (not to mention scoffing an order of protection that had been put in place on Dec. 3 of last year) inspired a quick response.

The woman (whose Sept. 10 stalking didn’t seem to humble her) was netted again on Oct. 6.

She faces criminal mischief and stalking, as well as criminal contempt raps.

The suspect continues to fight the charges in court.

⬛ THE BRONX

Belmont: Dirtbiker Questions Need For ‘A License’ After Leading Cops On Chase Down One-Way Street

HE’S A DIRTBAG.

A street acrobat riding an e-bike drew cops’ scrutiny by 12-o’clocking along Arthur Avenue and East 189th Street back at around 1 a.m. on Aug. 30, according to the criminal complaint.

The 20-year-old suspect’s wheelie popping caused several people trying to cross the road to “move out of the way to avoid getting struck,” the papers say.

The antics also allegedly forced several drivers to “abruptly stop” to dodge certain collisions.

At one point, the suspect took the officers on a northbound “one way” lane and was seen “weaving in between oncoming traffic,” the papers say.

Moments later, the cops closed in and yelled at the suspect, “Stop the dirtbike!”

Eventually, the suspect applied the brakes.

When he did, he was asked to produce a valid driver’s license.

He couldn’t.

But the rogue rider allegedly protested, “I thought I did not need a license for this electric dirt bike.”

According to state law, a driver’s license isn’t required to ride an e-bike so long as its speed doesn’t surpass 20 MPH.

It’s unclear the speed capacity of the suspect’s bike or how fast hewas traveling.

Either way, he was hit with unlawful fleeing a police officer, reckless endangerment, reckless driving, and violations of the vehicle and traffic law.

⬛ BROOKLYN

Brownsville: Knife-Wielding Scoundrels Jeer ‘Run Your Pockets’ Before Jacking Kids’ Phones

A TRIO BRANDISHING a blade and bilking cell phones — were nabbed.

The three not-so-gentlemenly sorts, aged 20, 19, and 18, were dinged back on the evening of Oct. 15.

Authorities say the three surrounded two kids — 14-year-old and 15-year-old boys — at the corner of Rockaway Parkway and Lenox Road, according to the criminal complaint.

In each instant, the victims recall how they were confronted by the eldest clutching a four-inch knife and then demand, “Run your pockets. Give up your phones!”

His crime partners then proceeded to search the youths’ pants and took hold of their devices (the 14-year-old is worth $249 and the 15-year-old’s is worth $280) and then fled.

They were quickly scooped up and brought under a list of charges including robbery, grand larceny, menacing, and endangering the welfare of a child.

⬛ QUEENS

Jamaica: ‘We Exchanged Some Words’: Beefing Swashbuckler Swings Sword, Slices Off Man’s 4 Fingers

HENRY’S WINES & LIQUOR’S sidewalk was littered with four of one man’s sliced digits.

At around 11:30 p.m. on Nov. 1, two men were jawing at each other in front of Henry’s Wines and Liquors.

The 45-year-old suspect apparently halted the 41-year-old innocent and engaged in a volley of heated words.

Witnesses described seeing the street gladiator wearing a yellow jacket, a black sweatshirt, black trousers, and black shoes and after holding the cutlass aloft — then started “repeatedly swing[ing]” a “large black sword” at the innocent.

The madman’s swordplay severed four of the victim’s fingers and nearly cleaved his right hand. The clash also caused the man’s left hand, wrist and arm to suffer “deep lacerations and bleeding,” according to the complaint.

After the sword slashing — the victim hailed a cab with his less-wounded hand — and rushed to Queens General Hospital where he underwent several surgeries.

Meantime, the blade brute allegedly fled to his home and dialed 911 to confess his hand in the carnage.

“I was just wearing a black and yellow jacket, we walked over to the liquor store and exchanged some words,” the suspect allegedly told investigators under questioning.

While failing to recall much detail about the outdoor butchery — the suspect appeared to be rather consumed about the whereabouts of his coat.

“I was wearing yellow and black, I don't know where my jacket went, I think I left it outside.”

He was brought into custody and slapped with attempted murder, assault, and weapons possession.

⬛ STATEN ISLAND

Stapleton: Bad Driver Stopped In Crosswalk Caught Packing Blow

HE WAS IDLING in a crosswalk and that was probably the best of all the woes.

At around 8:45 p.m. on Oct. 9, the 44-year-old perp was behind the wheel of a gray 2025 Toyota Camry with the engine running and helping to kill the ozone layer.

Police officers arrived and quizzed the lingerer.

They then ran the man’s name through a database and found he had his license suspended back on Aug. 27, over a DWI.

Once he was searched, cops found a green straw in his front left pocket. The straw was filled with cocaine.

When he was taken to the local precinct, the cops sussed the car and discovered another green straw under the driver’s seat. It too was filled with more nose candy.

The bad driver is now up against it with possession, aggravated unlicensed operation, motor vehicle license violation, and stopping or standing or parking in a prohibited place.

⬛ ET. AL

Grandpa Gank Or Mama Snatch? (Staten Island, NY)

A TWO-FACED THIEF is being sought for ripping off a Target.

The man (its believed) appeared pushing a shopping cart and taking merch from the Fairview Park-based big box store back on OCt. 24.

The same master of perception perp has also struck the store as a mom holstering a baby.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

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