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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 0094 — 03-27-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Upper West Side: Tourist Caught Stiffing Lux Hotel With Tab
A PATRON CRASHING at posh temporary lodging decided after one night — that he deserved to be comped.
The 39-year-old booked a two night stay at the Phillips Club back on Feb 10.
The Lincoln Center-hubbed residences offer “fractional residences” in various studios, one and two bedroom accommodations for a steep cost.
The accused had logged one night at the exclusive residences located on West 66th Street and then canceled his payment.
Management called the cops on the alleged cheapskate, a Manhattanite whose permanent home is two miles from the Phillips Club in Hell’s Kitchen.
Cops caught up to the living looter and booked him for the deceptive antics.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Olinville: ‘Give Me All Your Money And Phone!’ Barked Faux Gun-Toting Fool
A NO GOOD goon snuck up on a man with a pretend pistol and robbed him blind.
The 26-year-old stealthily crept up on a man who was walking along Perry Avenue at around Noon on Feb. 8.
The money-hungry hester then jammed a gun (that turned out to be a prop) into the the stomach of his prey.
“Give me all your money and phone,” he allegedly ordered.
The victim forfeited his cell phone and $400 and then took off.
Cops took the suspect into custody shortly after the mugging and booked him on robbery (with a firearm), possession of an imitation/toy pistol, grand larceny, petit larceny, and menacing.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Bay Ridge: ‘Get Out Of This Country!’: Beastly Woman Attacks 3 Muslims In 15 Minute Hate Spree
SHE WAS OOZING with animus.
A 34-year-old woman with bad intentions attacked three innocents — one of them a 12-year-old girl.
AUthorities say she was roaming around 92nd Street in Bay Ridge back on Jan. 30.
She first allegedly targeted a woman on the street wearing a hijab and proceeded to punch her several times.
“Get out of this country,” the suspect shrieked.
‘I go first!’
She allegedly set her sights on hurting another target — a 12-year-old girl who was also dressed in the same holy garb.
The suspect was allegedly boarding a city bus. And as a queue was forming, the suspect saw another victim wearing a jihjab and shoved her and then hissed, “I go first!”
On Feb. 4, cops tracked down the suspect and nailed her with hate crime assault and haste crime menacing.
▀ Kidnapper Car Crasher Nabbed (Brooklyn, NY)
A WANTED GOON across the pond in Jersey City ricocheted off several cars on the Belt Parkway on Wednesday.
Justin Gonzales of Newark, New Jersey was found with a piece in the car and also a woman — suspected to be his girlfriend.
The 25-year-old allegedly was caught kidnapping the woman at gunpoint in Hoboken.
Once they were spotted in Brooklyn and committed the fender bender — a brigade of cops surrounded the man’s black car after the domino collision.
At around 3:45 p.m., Gonzales had passed over the Goethals Bridge, through Staten Island and Verrazano Bridge and was on the Belt Parkway believed to be en route to Queens.
The woman, his galpal, that was taken against her will was spared of any injury.
A marked NYPD car was part of the chain reaction to the crash while reporting the incident.
Two officers were found to have endured minor injuries from the crash impact.
Once stopped on the Belt at Knapp Street — several cops took Gonzales into custody.
He was taken down for criminal possession of a weapon, assault. reckless endangerment unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, fleeing police in a motor vehicle, reckless driving and multiple traffic infractions.
«SOURCE»
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Jamaica: Evicting Lessee Grabs Sublessee’s Key From Her Then Yaks, ‘Do Not Return!’
IT WAS OUT in the cold for her.
A 61-year-old scoundrel thought it was time for a woman subleasing his flat located on 167th Street off Linden Boulevard seemingly without cause, according to the criminal complaint.
On the morning of Jan. 10, the suspect snatched the key to the home from the woman’s hand and told her, “You have to leave!”
The now homeless woman left.
‘Do not return!’
But on Jan. 26, where temps dipped to the early teens, she tried to return to her home. After knocking, the suspect met her at the front door and barred her from gaining entry.
Instead, he allegedly took her belongings and chucked them on the front lawn.
He then warned her: “Do not return!”
The suspect was brought up on grand larceny and unlawful eviction.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Bulls Head: Man Exposed Trying To Register Stolen Motorcycle Bought From Buccaneer
The bike was hot. And the new owner learned it the hard way.
The 30-year-old man allegedly boosted a Yamaha R3 last year.
He then found a buyer on July 2, 2025.
That buyer purchased the item for $3,800.
On Aug. 8, he then made the long tour to the DMV where he attempted to register the two-wheeled transportation.
Only he learned the Yamaha’s registration was fraudulent.
The authorities then retraced steps back to the suspected seller and brought him into custody.
He was charged with possession of a forged instrument, grand larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Congregation Disrupter (Elmont, NY)
⬛ NYCTALGIC
▀ ‘68 Garbage Strike (New York, NY)
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⬛ ET. AL
▀ Breaking Away (New York, NY)
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▀ Train Derailed (Union Square, NY)
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▀ Station To Station Jog (New York, NY)
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▀ Flasher (New York, NY)
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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