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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00108 — 04-20-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Morningside Heights: Madhatter Nabbed After Shooting And Missing Rival
A TEENAGER WAS reeled in after allegedly firing a series of wayward shots at a person — but missing them entirely.
The aimless teen (reportedly 15-years-old) was allegedly extra loose with the trigger back on the morning of April 1.
Authorities say the perp standing on Morningside Avenue shot at a person and despite his poor aim zipped off.
The suspect was seen running away towards West 126th Street clad in a distinctly mushroom-shaped red cap.
A couple weeks passed by and on April 16, the young gunman was taken into custody and staring down grownup charges including attempted murder, attempted assault, reckless endangerment, and weapons possession.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Longwood: Deadly Shooter Busted After 4 Years
A TOUGH WHO allegedly blasted a man’s face in a park was wrangled after dodging the law for years.
The perp, 20, was allegedly the gunslinger who was at St. Mary’s Park back on the afternoon of Aug. 19, 2022.
It was there that the young man raised his piece and fired the devastating shot that felled a 49-year-old man. The victim was rushed to Lincoln Hospital where he was pronounced dead.
For four years the suspect had managed to skirt consequences and was formally fingered for the slaying on March 12.
He was brought up on murder, manslaughter, and weapons possession.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Cypress Hills: Bodega Belligerent Scares Off Patrons, Refuses To Take Hike
HE WASN’T BUYING soda pop or toiletries.
An especially uncompromising rabblerouser who had turned a bodega into his personal fiefdom.
Nobody could enter as far as the 29-year-old despot was concerned.
Minutes after midnight on March 8, the suspect took over a bodega dotted on Fulton Street off Logan Street.
The kook was so in his feelings that he “yelled” at anybody that attempted to enter; essentially sending business away.
And when staffers at the bodega pleaded with the loudmouth to exit from the premises — he “refused”, according to the criminal complaint.
Cops came in to muzzle the man and took him away.
He was dinged with disorderly conduct (unreasonable noise/unlawful assembly,) obstruction of governmental administration, trespass, harassment, and resisting arrest.
Every headline satisfies an opinion. Except ours.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Ozone Park: Cane Swinging Fogies Clock, Slash Woman On Train
THE OLD DIRTY bastards teamed up to hurt a woman riding the subway.
At around 1 p.m on March 2, two women — 71 and 62 — ganged up on the younger straphanger while aboard a train that was heading into the Rockaway Boulevard station.
The eldest first took her cane and KO’d the traveler, sending her to the ground.
Then her sidekick drew a sharp object and slashed the innocent’s right shoulder.
The fiends hobbled off to elude capture.
Meanwhile their prey was whisked away to a local hospital to be treated for her lacerations and cane strikes.
Cops caught up to the duo 10 days later.
Each faces assault causing serious physical injury and assault with a weapon.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ St. George: Granny Goes Gangster Inside Surrogate’ Court
SHE LOST IT in court.
A 66-year-old mad woman unloaded on a human punching bag.
The old-timer was inside the Richmond County Surrogate’s Court located on Richmond Terrace late afternoon on Oct. 15.
Authorities might as well have been ringside when the woman decided to slap around a person.
First she slapped their hand and the whacked her several times to the face until she was restrained.
She was taken down for aggravated harassment, attempted assault, and harassment.
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Camaro Seizure (Bronx, NY)
COPS SEIZED A Camaro for endangering lives.
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▀ Sonic Boomers Bagged (Queens, NY)
IT WAS A ear-screeching Saturday night under the Van Wyck Expressway.
Cops ran on noise pollution calls — summonsed the drivers and took away their cars for making “obnoxious… unreasonable” noise.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK
▀ Undoing Vandals (Brooklyn, NY)
A LOCAL WALGREENS got the beautification biz.
⬛ NYCTALGIC
▀ Al Capone’s Right Hand Man Johnny Torrio Covering Mug After Court Hearing (Brooklyn, NY)
GANGSTER BUSTED FOR vagrancy rap. The cops deaf to Torrio's protestations that "I've got dough...I've got real estate," shoved him in the line up and set his bail at $1,000. He was released from the Federal Penitentiary at Fort Leavenworth some months ago after serving two and a half years for Income Tax Evasion.
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Deadly Collision (New York, NY)
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▀ J Train Joyrider (New York, NY)
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▀ Zig Zaggers (New York, NY)
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▀ Wheels Off (New York, NY)
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▀ Houdini’d (Bronx, NY)
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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