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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00264 — 10-26-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: ‘If You Move I Will Hurt You!’: Mutinizing Underling Kidnaps, Tortures Beauty Shop Boss
SHE’S NOT EARNING employee of the month.
A ridiculously disgruntled staffer at an eyelash beauty salon went gangster on her superior by blindfolding her and the going to town on her noggin like a speed bag.
The perp, 46, was inside the West 31st Street shop at around 9 p.m. on Sept. 17, the criminal complaint reads.
The manager lost her sight when her employee allegedly blindfolded her and informed she was not permitted to leave.
And that if she tried any fast moves — she would regret it.
“If you move, I will hurt you,” the woman warned.
And yet, she hurt her boss anyway, the papers say.
“Repeatedly” the suspect clocked the manager of the salon with a mysterious “hard object” and also punched her about her head and body.
The continuous barrage of attacks continued through the night until the morning.
At around 11:30 a.m. the calvary arrived and took the demonic worker into custody and disarmed her of “two large knives”.
She was hauled off and hit with kidnapping, assault, attempted assault, and weapons possession.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Eastchester: Gunman Who Struck 3, Popped 1 Month Later
AN EARLY MORNING standoff saw a triggerman blasting three people.
The 48-year-old suspect was pinched on Sept. 21 for going postal on East 233rd Street early morning on Aug. 23.
The maniac allegedly fired several rounds that struck three people: a 17-year-old boy took a shot to the back of the head, a 20-year-old woman took one sluf to the foot, and a 22-year-old man was hit in the chest.
All but the teen were spared any mortal-threatening wound.
The teen was listed in critical condition after he was brought to be admitted at Bronx Care Health System.
The others were taken to Jacobi Medical Center.
Once in custody, the suspect was formally charged with murder, manslaughter and criminal possession of a weapon.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Boerum Hill: Self-Pleasurer Went Nut-Nut Inside A Burlington Coat Factory
AN ESPECIALLY UNENCUMBERED perv waltzed into a Burlington Coat Factory store and attempted to stroke himself before grossed out witnesses and then offed a store scanner.
The 59-year-old suspect certainly left an impression on the security detailed at the Atlantic Avenue-based Burlington and pennysaving patrons back on the early evening of Sept. 9.
He was seen entering the store and quickly lowered his pants and then began rubbing and tugging himself before store security and customers.
Then when he was apparently finished, he went on the offensive and took out one of the scanners.
The total tally of the destroyed scanner was $2,000. However the damage that he did to those in his vicinity as he was going to town performing his erotic one man act — may never fully be able to account.
Cops weren’t able to get the self-lover that day.
They did catch up to him on Sept. 22 where he was summarily nailed for criminal mischief, public lewdness, and exposure of a person.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Flushing: Shrinking Violet Unleashes Hurt On Old Man For ‘Recording Us’ Fighting
A SCRAPPER DUELING on the street with a rival took special umbrage against a Good Sam attempting to document it and also break it up.
The 25-year-old went to war against the peacemaker who had trailed him while he was walloping a man on Northern and Parsons Boulevards on July 25.
A 65-year-old passer-by decided to make it his business to step in and stop the beatdown.
This only aggravated his attacker.
What’s more, the elder was documenting the incident with his cell phone.
The bruiser turned on the old man and belted at him and then slapped the phone out of his hand and it fell to the ground and cracked.
He then chased him down and gave him a pounding all over his body and face.
Once netted by cops, the suspect was questioned about his fury he unleashed on both men.
“The older guy came and started recording us,” he allegedly told investigators, according to the criminal complaint. “And I didn’t like it so I knocked it off his hand.”
But he didn’t explain why he clobbered the old man.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Brighton Heights: Moped Bandit Pinched For Riding Helmet-less
THE GNAT-BRAINED DUNCE thought he could tool around in someone else’s scooter sans a helmet or plates.
That scheme backfired.
Quickly.
Cops spotted the suspect freebirding on a stolen gray 2024 Fly Wing Zne along Corson and Westervelt Avenues at around 3 a.m. on April 19.
Once stopped, arresting officers took the slippery on into custody and charged him with possession of stolen property, unauthorized use of a vehicle, and (would you believe it!) motorcycle helmets violation.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Law Taunter (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Lost Homing Pigeon (Ozone Park, NY)
THE BIRD HAS two rings on its feet. There’s an effort underway to find the owner(s).
«SOURCE»
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Wild Truck (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Graff Collage (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ G.O.A.T. White China (Bronx, NY)
A TRIO OF slingers were given the jail business after a family was raided.
Eric Reynoso-Burgos, Jose Cordero-Concepcionm and mother Ariendy Jimenez-Hidalgo were taken into custody and five kids (as young as 2) living therewere brought to child services after the cops rushed the East 216th Street first floor apartment back on Oct. 20.
The takedown included hauling out two kilos of fentanyl and an assortment of paraphernalia along with signature stamps including “Versace”, “EXIT 4”, and “G.O.A.T. Greatest Of All Time”.
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Break Time (New York, NY)
Credit: Bib Black
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Fire Extinguisher Punk Smokes Station (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Losing Fuzz (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Smokers And The Booters (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Minivan Misanthrope (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Unfriendly Rails (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
-30-
*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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