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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00125 — 05-11-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Upper East Side: Police Pretender Nabbed Flashing Gun, Fake Badge, And Stumping For Commish
THE ROBBER WAS playing a cop.
A 39-year-old unsavory accosted a woman on the street with a pistol and a strange pitch.
The suspect snuck up to the woman, 28, as she was standing on the corner of East 99th Street and Park Avenue back at around 6:30 p.m. on April 8.
Instantly, the woman recognized the bandit as a pal of her mother’s.
But in this case the niceties were absent and after wielding a fake badge and pointing a gun pointed at her face — he demanded she make a donation to the city’s top cop.
The perp allegedly claimed the he taking donations and that he “needed cash to five to [NYPD] Police Commissioner Tisch.”
The terrified woman offered some funds from her shaking hand.
Then she reported the incident to the cops.
Investigators found the suspect a week later.
They concluded he’s much of a cop as a milkman is a cow.
They took him down for robbery, grand larceny from a weapon, grand larceny (extortion), and criminal impersonation of a police/federal officer.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Soundview: Hood Inflicts Cell Phone Pounding On 2 Women
A BRUTE TURNED especially hostile with two women.
The 31-year-old was jawing with a woman on New Year’s Eve afternoon.
Their argument took place on Westchester and Elder Avenues where the suspect drew so close to one of the women that their noses could touch.
Then the suspect started taking swings at the woman.
He then flexed his cell phone and used it to whack the woman's head.
The suspect then started scrapping with the woman's friend pal who was playing peacemaker and trying to get the man to disengage.
Again he used the same cell phone cudgel and clocked her on the arm and hand.
It some days, but investigators caught up to the suspect on March 19 and he was dinged with assault, menacing (with a weapon), weapons possession, and harassment.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Brighton Beach/Coney Island: Ski Masked Goon Blabs ‘Give me your phone!’ Then Whack Him With Dustpan
THEY STRUCK TWICE.
A couple of brazen brutes took a mark for a ten spot and his phone. Then one of them riding solo reappeared two days later for a second shakedown.
The pair allegedly were waiting on a man at around 10 a.m. on March 29 as he entered a home located on West 32nd Street off Neptune Avenue.
The victim was bumrushed by the duo donning ski masks; one of them, aged 41, was especially surly.
He first belted him and then cautioned, “Be quiet,” according to the criminal complaint.
“Give me your phone,” he added.
Without waiting for the device to be handed over, he yanked it from his mitt and then took a dustpan and whacked him square on the shoulder.
Hard.
Then he swiped 10 bucks out of his wallet.
Two nights later, the same perp allegedly returned for more.
The same victim was outside on West 12th Street and Neptune Avenue shakedown the same man.
This time he brandished a switchblade.
But he appeared to come up empty.
The suspect was caught that same day and nailed for charges in both incidents. His cohort was able to avoid capture.
He’s now up against it for burglary, robbery (with a dangerous instrument) assault with a weapon, grand larceny (from a person), and criminal possession of stolen property.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ The Invader To The Terrified Tenant: ‘Suck My Dick!’
EMILY POST WOULD wash his mouth with Lifebouy. For his obscene words and his lunatic actions.
On the night of Feb. 26, a 44-year-old scumbag allegedly wrecked the doorway of a home.
The suspect pushed the door in and broke the door frame.
He proceeded to loiter in the home despite pleas by the victim to scram.
He then decided it was time to take off his pants and whip out his little friend and thought it was time to show off his elocutionary tools.
“Suck my dick,” he perv poet waxed.
This disturbed the resident feared for her well-being.
The matter was reported to the authorities.
And by April 7, the fellatio fanatic was reeled in and hit with
criminal trespass, criminal mischief, harassment, and public lewdness.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ New Dorp: Creep Texts Woman ‘I Show You Scary!’
SHE PUNISHED A woman with her fists and then her words.
The no good goon tangoed with another woman back on the morning of Feb. 11.
It was outside a strip mall located on Hylan Boulevard.
Authorities say the 28-year-old woman slapped and punched around the victim leaving her in a suffering state.
The same woman then went nutso on Instagram.
‘I know where you work. I know where you live. I come right to your face, bitch.’
She allegedly sent a series of daggering missives.
“I will hurt you every chance [sic] I get,” one read. “I am coming for you. I don’t care about cops or an order of protection.
“I show you scary.”
The messages continued to skew more actionable.
“I know where you work. I know where you live. I come right to your face, bitch.”
Another appeared to reflect on their fight, with the perp claiming she bested the woman.
“I had you screaming for help,” the message reads. “Stay alert ho[sic]
“I will split your face open. Watch what I would do to you kids next.”
Whether she meant to exact more reprisals or not, the authorities took her at her word and hit her for assault, aggravated harassment, and harassment.
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Illegal Gambling Ring Dinged (Brooklyn, NY)
A LEDGER, CASH (all small bills) and some eight-day paper cup of coffee.
«SOURCE»
▀ Subwoofer Silenced (Queens, NY)
THE MUSIC WAS bumping way too loud.
Cops silenced a car causing noise pollution on the Van Wyck Expressway near College Point Boulevard. The car and the speakers were seized.
«SOURCE»
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Saving The Night (New York, NY) - July 20, 1940
BRAVEST SAVING A woman from a burning building.
«SOURCE»
▀ Mobster Soldier Murder Mugshot (New York, NY)
GENOVESE FAMILY SOLDIER Joseph Tortorici aka Joe Stutz (who served under capo Mike Coppola aka Trigger Mike) was a suspect in the political murder of Joe Scottoriggio in 1946.
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Moped Mopes Test Helmet-Swinging Courier (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Check Your Head! (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Choppers Get Coppers (Bronx, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Outdoor Option (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Donuting A Detail (Newark, NJ)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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