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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 0066 — 02-16-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Slurring Bigot Decks Mom, Slashes Son’s Jacket Then Shrieks ‘Your Blood, Wasted, Gone!"
A MOTHER AND son were accosted by a seething supremacist who was loose with his knife.
It was around 10 p.m. on New Year’s Eve when they were walking on Sixth Avenue near West 44th Street when the 18-year-old.
The mother, 39 (who is white), was slugged in the face by the pugilist.
Her 19-year-old mixed-race son stepped in to protect the woman who crumbled to the asphalt.
‘Thousands of years of your blood, wasted, gone.’
The challenge inspired the suspect to draw a knife. He used it to take a swipe at the protective charge’s body.
Luckily, he only struck the teen’s jacket, causing it to rip open.
The goon then went on a racist rant — “repeatedly” calling the son the N-word.
And then he turned to the mother and jabbered out, “Thousands of years of your blood, wasted, gone.”
The suspect was brought up on assault and aggravated harassment.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ South Bronx: Tire Slasher ADmits To ‘Laying On Toyota’, Blames Scoundrel Deed On ‘Other Guy’
THERE WAS ANOTHER knave who deflated a man’s SUV tires. He was just nabbing on the hood is all.
That was the tale told by a 68-year-old man who was found catching some Zs on a man’s gray 2025 Toyota Rav 4 parked at the Bronx Terminal Market on River Avenue.
The owner claims to have seen the senior piercing all four tires with his knife.
Officers were summoned and tried to get an explanation for the weapon.
He allegedly told them, “It wasn’t me — it was the other guy.”
“I was laying on the car but I did not slash the tires.”
He was taken away and formally facing auto stripping and criminal mischief.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Crown Heights / East Flatbush: Headphones Jacker Cracks Several Shots While Peeling Off In Chasing Car Owner’s Infiniti
A RAIDER WITH a quick trigger finger took a man for his headphones, jacket, and then took off in another’s ride.
At around 12:30 p.m. on Nov. 11, the suspect stepped to a man.
On Sterling Place and Troy Avenue and demanded his headphones and jacket.
The man didn’t have to think too hard.
That’s because he saw the chambered round staring point-blank at him.
Five hours later, the same perp decided he needed a car to go with his new coat.
He allegedly stuck up the owner of an Infiniti G35 when he was exiting it after parking on East 45th Street and Avenue I.
Afterward, the owner and some diehard empathizers chased down the Infiniti crook. And that’s when they were met by incoming.
For the suspect, 24, nearly emptied his clip — blasting at the do-gooders (purportedly out of its sunroof) while taking off.
Cops collected five shell casings from the thief’s afterburn.
On Nov. 16, the same suspect allegedly took off with another man’s 2022 Acura TRX.
The owner of the car would find it wrecked in Rosedale, Queens the next day.
In the effort to steal away, the suspect lapsed having left behind his gun and his cell phone.
After opening a probe on the suspect, investigators finally dropped the hammer and caught up to him on Dec. 31.
When it all clicks.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Cambria Heights: ‘I Am Going To Take Whatever I Want!’: Knife-Toting Caffeine Joneser Robs Bodega
HE NEEDED TO re-up on coffee and munchies. And clearly he was so desperate he was ready to go to besiege a bodega to get them.
At around 9:30 a.m. on Dec. 30, the 35-year-old heister strolled into the market located on Colfax Street and Murdock Avenue flashing a knife and helping himself to bags of coffee and grub.
‘I am going to take whatever I want and you’re not going to do anything about it. I will stab you!’
A clerk pleaded with the perp to “stop” but he gestured in a stabbing motion towards the man, according to the criminal complaint.
“I am going to take whatever I want and you’re not going to do anything about it,” he allegedly seethed. “I will stab you!”
He then took the fleeced goods and fled.
Cops caught up to him shortly afterward (long before he was able to brew a cup of fresh joe) and took him down for robbery and petit larceny.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Granitville: ‘Pussy Smells Like Fish. Ew!’: Sap Embarks On Week Long Stalking Mission Against Gal Neighbor
IF HE HAD any sense of how to woo a woman — he clearly garnered them from a finishing school… for wild boars.
The 32-year-old louse of a suitor living down the hallway from a woman he started pestering for days.
The suspect and his target live in an apartment building located on Richmond Avenue near Goethals Road North.
He allegedly first showed up at her door back at around 7 p.m. on Dec. 21. “[Victim]’s knocked up,” he shouted into the doorbell cam. “She’s pregnant.”
Two days later, the same half-wit returned to her door and announced, “[Victim]’s pussy smells like fish,” he squealed. “Ew!”
The next day — being Christmas — the man returned twice. Technically thrice. This time he decided to play a demented version of ding-dong ditch.
He pressed her doorbell just before 11 p.m. and then took off back to his flat. He repeated the juvenile antics a second time a half-hour later, the criminal complaint states.
And then after the clock struck midnight, he returned and did the same doorbell ring and disappearing act.
The antics were given the law enforcement business and the doorbell agitator was dinged for stalking and harassment.
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Dope + Bangs (Brooklyn, NY)
ANOTHER PISTOL AND plenty of bags of blow were seized and table-topped.
«SOURCE»
▀ Moto Robber Netted With Faux Firearm, Real Blade
«SOURCE»
⬛ URBAN JUNGLE
▀ Frolicking Coyotes (Central Park, NY)
Caption: Francois Portmann
IT’S A WINTER of content for these coyotes. The whipped up buttery patch clustering the Shakespeare Theater or caking the many Manhattan’s meadows become wonderland for critters.
Caption: Francois Portmann
«SOURCE»
⬛ NYCTALGIC
▀ 28th Street and 12th Avenue (New York, NY) - 1978
Credit: Thomas Struth
«SOURCE»
▀ TKTKTK ()
⬛ ET. AL
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Brrr Brouhaha (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Consequential Fender Bender (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Breakfast To Go (New York, NY)
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▀ Rough Riders’ Cop Whiz-By (New York, NY)
STUNTING OFFROADERS BURNED through a red light directly in front of an NYPD cruiser.
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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