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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00209 — 08-10-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Check Fraudster Admits ‘These Are All Fake!’
HIS CHARISMA SUPERPOWER did a number on a bank customer.
One has to wonder what this 51-year-old waxed back, at around closing time on July 14 when he was loitering outside a Chase Bank branch on Lexington Avenue and East 60th Street.
Authorities say the suspect pulled the wool over a customer — asking if he would deposit a check on his behalf.
The customer swelling with naivite, apparently was willing to do the man a solid and went ahead to deposit the check, bearing the amount of $2,130.
‘These are all fake.’
The bank soon informed the customer that the check was “bad” and “could not be processed”, according to the criminal complaint.
The suspect fled the scene after his money grab yielded zip.
Cops caught up to him six days later.
They collected 17 other fraudulent checks that he allegedly had in his possession.
Pressed about them, he admitted, “These are all fake.”
He was nailed for forgery, grand larceny, and criminal possession of a forgery instrument.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Sobering Snag (Bronx/Manhattan, NY)
AN NYC-BOUND MULE traveling casual with some provisions and 40-pounds of blow will be mulling over his actions for 14 years.
All compliments of a jury of his peers.
Prosecutors from the NYC Special Narcotics Prosecutor's Office were able to convince a jury that Carlos Almonte Palmers, 45, of hailing from Worcester, Massachusetts, that he was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.
He was sentenced on Aug. 6.
Palmers rolled the dice to take his case to trial.
During the two-week trial, prosecutors were able to expose the trafficker’s goings-on dating back to March 13, 2024.
Investigators set up a sting and keeping tabs on Palmers moving product into the five boroughs.
They tailed his Jeep Grand Cherokee as it traveled southbound on Interstate-95, from Connecticut to the Empire State border.
The surveillance continued into the Bronx then Manhattan and spanned over the George Washington Bridge into New Jersey. They were watching when his Jeep stopped at a truck stop in Secaucus, at about 7 p.m., pulled alongside a tractor trailer and after a brief stop, returned back to Gotham.
The suspicion Palmers had transacted a deal — authorities moved in and stopped the Jeep on the Major Deegan Expressway and the Cross Bronx Parkway exit in Yonkers.
A warranted search revealed a duffel bag filled with 20-kilos of puro (nearly 45 pounds with a street value of $1 million).
Palmers already had a previous ding for drug sales in the Bronx and had served eight years hard time.
He had been deported from the States to the Dominican Republic upon his release from prison in 2022 and then got back in the game by setting up shop in Massachusetts and making daytrip drug runs to NYC.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Brighton Beach: Goon Nabbed For Aiming Air Rifle At Cop In Cruiser
THERE MAY NOT have been any live rounds, but for a few tenuous seconds, a cop driving passed him had to be thinking the worst.
The incident occurred at around 12:30 a.m. when the police unit wheeled along Neptune Avenue and Brighton 4th Street on July 1.
He saw the suspect, 43, was allegedly handling a rifle and pointing it at the officer.
That provocation drew an aggressive response.
The perp was approached and the officers confiscated the arms along with another rifle.
But it was quickly determined that the weapons fired pellets — not bullets.
Still, the man’s pretend gunplay punched his ticket to jail.
He was hit with menacing of a police or peace officer, weapons possession, and harassment.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Jamaica: Perv Whips Out Member After Asking Woman In Bakery ‘Do You Want To Do It Doggy Style?’
SHE CAME FOR a patty and he offered his hot dog.
A sicko, 33, was caught after acting extra fresh with a woman inside a Jamaican bakery.
His moral turpitude took place at around 7 p.m. when a woman entered Pates Jeanty Bakery located on Hempstead Avenue.
The bigshot with the pea-sized brain allegedly lowered his pants where he unwrapped his dick without a box.
Then he blabbed some nasty nonsense.
‘Do you want to do it doggy style. I have a condom.’
“Do you want to do it doggy style,” he allegedly queried the woman, adding, “I have a condom.”
The woman was aghast. And her instant rejection of the offer was reported to the police.
Six days later a scrambled a police unit captured the lecherous imbecile.
And when he was quizzed of some basic pedigree, the perp allegedly maximized his intelligence to supply officers with a fake name.
Twice.
So that tacked on a false personation charge to his harassment and public lewdness raps.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Graniteville: Deviant Destroys Two Cars With Garbage Pail Impalement
A MADMAN WAS lassoed after going bonkers on two parked cars.
The half-wit had been emotionally imploding on the morning of July 13 outside some homes on the quiet Lamberts Lane.
CCTV captured the punk take garbage pails and launch them at the parked cars in his crosshairs.
Some poor soul’s black Dodge Durango suffered a shattered rear window when the dipshit smashed it with the receptical.
And then the owner of a red Hyundai Genesis returned to find the car’s front window cracked like a spiderweb after the same nutjob threw a trash bin at it.
The suspect was quickly scooped up and facing charges of criminal mischief and trespass.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Wanted: Gunpoint Robber (Brooklyn, NY)
COPS ARE SEARCHING for this tough whom they say on July 20 muscled someone for their treasures on the corner of 27th Avenue and Mill Road.
▀ Dirtbags (Queens, NY)
THESE TWO-WHEELERS did some major damage to these manicured greens. And they are now being sought.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Eye Catcher (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Wham-Bam (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Murder Ink Hitman (New York, NY)
HE WAS A feared heavy.
Martin “Buggsy” Goldstein was a member of a band of baddies known as Murder, Inc.
He and Abe “Kid Twist” Reles muscled under orders from Lepke Buchalter and Albert “Mad Hatter” Anastasia.
▀ ‘Tin House’ Closure (Brooklyn, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Luigi Mangione Pretrial Fanboying (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ RMP Whoops (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Slick Slapper (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Tree > Bus (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Citi Biker V. Trash Tosser (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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