A MIDDLE-AGED PERV was nabbed after pressing his erect penis against a teen’s shoulder while aboard an A train.

The 52-year-old was standing next to a 15-year-old who was seated on an A train backa t around 6:15 p.m. on Sept. 9 as it was pulling into the 14th Street station on 8th Avenue.

The creep allegedly stepped “directly next” to the seated innocent and repeatedly pressed her shoulder with his appendage “several times”, according to the criminal complaint.

The youth later informed investigators that she “felt a hard object make contact with her shoulder, which she believed to be the defendant's erect penis,” the papers say.

The dark-complectioned menace was seen wearing a T-shirt, gray sweater, gray sweatpants and a white hat.

He allegedly lingered on the train until it reached DUMBO’s High Street in Brooklyn and fled the station.

But a couple weeks past and with a photo array confirmation made by the young victim — cops moved ahead on Sept. 24 to pinch the perp.

He was then formally hit with forcible touching, sex abuse, lewdness (expose body in public) and acting in a manner injure to a child less than 17.

HER KIDS WERE sobbing after she ricocheted off a Mercedes and elevated subway train pillar.

The 52-year-old mother made the critical decision to get behind the wheel of a black 2022 KIA Forte with two sobbing kids — ages 4 and 9.

Cops found her idling in the banged-up car “in the middle” of Jerome Avenue near East 175th Street back at around 7:30 a.m. on Oct. 3, according to the criminal complaint.

“I was driving,” she allegedly explained to the responding cops in a slurred speech and reeking of booze. “I had one or two beers.”

She continued: “I have a history of mental illness, anxiety and depression.”

The KIA had collided into a subway train pillar and then hit a red 2013 Mercedes-Benz with Virginia plates. The smashup caused the woman’s front hood, bumper, side panels, and rear to be both warped and dented.

So severe was the impact that the Mercedes driver along with the mother and her two kids were all treated at a local hospital.

The troubled mother was hit with assault, DWI, reckless endangerment, criminal mischief, and acting in a manner injurious to a child.

A PARCHED PUNK roughed up a supermarket staffer after being caught stealing a can of Red Bull.

At around 11:15 a.m. on Oct. 25, the 34-year-old woman was eyeballed snaking through the aisles of Associated Supermarket dotted on Church Avenue near Lloyd Street.

The suspect allegedly slipped a can of the energy beverage into her cloth shopping bag. She then allegedly scampered out of the business without paying for the item, according to the criminal complaint.

When she was confronted about the rooked Red Bull, the woman turned especially honery.

She allegedly kicked the staffer’s leg when the staffer attempted to retrieve it from the satchel.

The woman’s cruel footwork caused the worker to suffer a painful cut.

Officers arrived and took the woman into custody. The woman was hit with robbery, assault, criminal possession of stolen property, and harassment.

And all for a $2.99 drink.

At her arraignment, the suspect was released without bail. She’s due back in court on Feb. 2, court records show.

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A PLEASURE HOUSE proprietor was hauled away from her “spa”.

The 58-year-old woman was allegedly inside the Flame Spa storefront located on 41st Street near 28th Avenue during the late Aug. 28 afternoon.

The sex worker, who was allegedly under the suspect’s employ, agreed to have sex with a patron for $160, according to the criminal complaint.

Authorities say after the amount for the lovemaking was set, the suspect “let [the worker] into” the establishment.

Pressed by cops to explain her duties at the extra feel-good “spa” — the accused answered that she is the manager, the papers say.

She has since been hit with both promoting and permitting prostitution.

SHE TURNED COY when she couldn’t explain away the 37 sleeves of smack.

Perhaps she was so convinced she reinvented herself that whoever the computers say she was — was pure hooey.

The 30-year-old woman and her 39-year-old amnesia-plagued sidekick were drawing scrutiny while revving the motor of a 2009 black Infiniti at the intersection of Prospect and Bay Streets back at around 5:45 p.m. on Oct. 21.

The ride not was not only illegally stopped, but the license plate had been intentionally obscured.

The driver lacked a valid driver’s license. Each exited the car and were searched.

The driver had two cell phones, $217, plus two baggies of heroin along with some meth, the criminal complaint states.

The Infinity was found to be holding 37 glassines with heroin and a loose burnt tinfoil used for freebasing.

“That’s my name and birthday,” the accused allegedly tried to pawn on the inquisitive police pressing her. The driver allegedly “misrepresented” his name and birthdate, the papers say.

It didn’t matter.

The cops figured out who they were. And they were summarily booked on a wad of raps including possession of drugs (with intent to sell), false personation, and dirty plate or plate covered by glass or plastic.

A cluster of tenements rowed along East 11th Street and Avenue B.

Tipped-over garbage pail with its refuse strewn out along the fractured sidewalk like a disemboweled animal in the urban wild. Tagged facades pop like modern hieroglyphics.

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A SEEMINGLY BALLS tripping sort (looks to be barely pushing late teens) was parked on top of a running car — adorning their head with a loose roll of toilet paper.

The whole thing could easily have been passed off as a bad dose of something fierce.

And maybe most times it ends with a little tumble on the ground. A tame ending.

That’s not what happens here.

The person in the marijuana leaf PJs and socks suffers a bout of the shakes. And then out of nowhere darts straight into the street where an oncoming ambulance whooshes by.

The zonked youngster can’t seem to hold back their desire to rush it. And the consequence proves critical. The rearview mirror clips the jaywalker, sending them to the ground. Hard.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.