HE GOT AWAY (for 30 minutes) with a single bank buck. 

A sad sap of a heister with a well-inked rap sheet walked into a Chase Bank branch on West 4th Street just before 5 p.m. on Feb. 18. 

He was allegedly on a mission to plunder.

The 42-year-old reached for his waistband feigning he was packing a pistol as he hissed, “I want that!” to the bank teller, 58, as she was counting a stack of bills. 

The woman was willing to play along with the holdup by forfeiting a single $1 bill. 

The suspect took the single and went scouting where he could spend it — maybe a single stamp, a greeting card or purchase parking for a few minutes and imagine what it might be like to own a Ferrari and be able to park it in Manhattan. 

The pauper was scooped up a half hour later by responding cops. 

When they searched the suspect they didn’t find a gun — but a cigarette torch (shaped like a pistol) and a small baggie of dope. 

The perp was taken down and booked for robbery and possession of an imitation/toy pistol. 

It was discovered that the accused has racked up dozens of priors dating back to 2000, mostly for theft-related robberies and burglaries as well as drug possession. Or could they be drug-fueled thefts?

THE BRUTE FLASHED an NYPD badge. 

But it was bogus. 

At around 4:45 p.m. on Feb. 8, the 37-year-old man was cruising around with a pal when they began jawing with a man outside Fine Fare Supermarket located on Metropolitan Avenue. 

The fighting words graduated to fisticuffs with the suspect punching the victim’s face several times. 

The knocked down victim took out his phone and announced, “I am calling the police!”

That provoked the slugger to knock the phone out of the man’s hand sending it to the ground. 

“I’m the police,” he allegedly implored. “Don’t call them.”

He then took out a badge and showed it to the victim. 

A detective showed up anyway. 

And when he sussed out the situation he took a closer look at the said badge tucked back in the attacker’s pocket. 

It certainly wasn’t legitimate, but a “miniature” badge next to an NYC Police Benefit Association Card. 

The detective checked and determined the man thought it was Halloween because he’s no cop. 

The man was cuffed and hit with criminal impersonation, criminal impersonation of a public servant, assault, and harassment. 

His sidekick fled the scene and wasn’t captured.

THE VINYL SCRATCHED to a dramatic halt. 

Maybe they were playing his song: Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” because an interloping creep barged into the post-nuptials soiree. 

The 40-year-old was especially unabashed back at around 9:45 p.m. when he allegedly entered the venue on East New York Avenue off Troy Avenue and put on a different kind of show 

dropped his trousers and showed off his genitals to the horror of revelers. 

That striptease didn’t bode well with the cops either. The man was charged with public lewdness and exposure of a person.

A MAN’S JOYRIDE aboard a subway train ended with him getting stiff justice. 

The 56-year-old was traveling on a subway car back at around 2 a.m. on Feb. 10.

As the train barreled across Roosevelt Avenue and Broadway — the seated goon whipped out his joystick and while “staring” at a woman seated nearby would “move his hand back and forth”, according to the criminal complaint. 

A cop, detailed with an anti-terrorism unit, detoured from national security matters to take the lusting lout into custody.

He was formally hit with public lewdness and exposure of a person.

HER TINTED WINDOWS and poor driving did her in. 

A woman with three open cases (mostly slinging or possessing crack) was stopped failing to use a turning signal was taken into custody once cops discovered her outlaw status. 

The 37-year-old was driving around on the late night on Jan. 19. 

A detail spotted her behind the wheel of a black 2019 Nissan Sentra and making turns without applying the turning signal. 

Once stopped on Broad Street — the officer noticed the passenger windows were excessively dark. Specifically, a test of the tint determined only 5% light emanating through the windows. 

A run of her name found she was wanted in multiple cases (Aug. 6 and Oct. 16) for dealing crack.

The woman also had been driving with a suspended license. And when searched, cops found a switchblade on her person.  

As she was being cuffed, the lawless lady tensed up and tried to wiggle free.  

When being processed at the 120 Precinct, the woman allegedly used the restroom. 

It was there when things took a turn for the worst. 

The woman allegedly was recorded on CCTV removing a Zip-loc baggie filled with 76 sleeves of heroin (divided in rubberbanded bundles off five) and try to flush them down the toilet. 

There was also a baggie with a twist filled with cocaine. 

Authorities booked her on a bunch of raps including drug possession, tampering with physical evidence, resisting arrest, obstruction, and weapons possession, as well as aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, failing to signal, and equipment violation for the excessive tint.

COPS NABBED ANOTHER dope peddler armed with a truncheon.

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A horse-drawn wagon filled with explosives and cast-iron weights ditced at noon detonated and slain 38 people and wounded more than 140 others.

A BEAR CUB was rescued from playing the stowaway in a car that had found itself in a ditch.

On the afternoon of April 1, the furry little beast was plucked from the car after a driver in duress rang for help.

State troopers descended on I-78 East and help the guy out to the hand over to Department of Environmental Protection staffers.

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The FDNY IS spending big to train on all too real mannequins.

The department plunked down six-figures to purchase life-like mannequins that actually bleed.

It’s all in an effort to help teach the public how to properly tie a tourniquet to stem the flow of blood and ultimately save lives.

The FDNY's citywide public awareness and training program, titled "Stop the Bleed" will include field training for the public on life-like dolls that hemorrhage red fluid via remote-control to replicate blood loss and teach the public Good Sams and future medics how to properly use blood-stopping techniques.

The purchase of an undisclosed number of "TacMed Multiple Amputation Trauma Trainer" manikins from a New City, NY Medical Supply company will set back the FDNY $111,959.00, according to the contract, which was signed last month.

The FDNY says the EMS Academy's current inventory of training mannequins are not designed for "high stress bleeding simulation" and the new training dummies are "realistic, rugged, and designed for repeatable training experiences," impact resistant, waterproof and can be used in indoor and outdoor settings.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

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