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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00114 — 04-26-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Woman Revving For Revenge Tries Mowing Down Rival
SHE WANTED TO get even.
A 37-year-old hellion was allegedly waiting on a woman with whom she had been tussling.
The suspect and the woman in her crosshairs (also 37) had been in a stalemate until she took action.
She was clocking a sliver outside West 37th Street and Sixth Avenue where the victim works.
It was 3 p.m. on April 29, 2024. And it was apparently when the suspect’s acquaintance was seated in the driver’s seat and her foot ready to punch the gas.
Authorities say when she saw her nemesis, the suspect revved the engine several times and then pulled up to the sidewalk just missing the woman as she was walking.
Afterward, the same driver’s temper failed to cool. In fact, she allegedly sent a flurry of hate texts to the woman she almost clipped.
Two years later, on March 29, cops caught up to the perp and she was charged with reckless endangerment, assault (with injury), and reckless driving.
It’s unclear what provoked their beef.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Fordham Heights: Teen Drew Box Cutter Blood On Bus
TWO TEENAGERS TANGOED on a city bus, with one slashing the other with a box cutter.
The throwdown occurred at around 7 p.m. on March 18, when the two teens, both 17, became cross toward each other.
When the BX12 bus arrived at the intersection of Valentine Avenue and East Fordham Road — one of them wasn’t interested in talking any longer.
He took out a box cutter and slashed the other youth’s hand and neck.
The perp bolted once the bus stopped.
The cut victim was rushed to St. Barnabas Hospital and after being treated was stabilized and expected to survive.
On March 18, cops caught up to the cutter.
The young tough faces attempted murder and assault raps.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Brighton Beach: Suspended Driver Caught With Crank Sack
A BUFFOON MOTORIST needs to think about two words: bus pass.
The 32-year-old recidivist scofflaw who had been suspended not once, twice, or three.. but four times was caught lapsing on a turn signal while parking.
The dingbat driver was riding behind the wheel of a 2011 A5 with Massachusetts plates back at around 4:30 p.m. on March 22.
He was spotted parking in a spot on Brighton 3 Street near Neptune Avenue.
The officers eyeing the piss poor driving ran the man’s info and discovered the man’s driving privileges were revoked. Again.
Then, when he stepped out of the car and was frisked, the cops pulled from his pants pocket a Ziploc bag filled with meth.
So what could have been a long day dealing with driving woes, upped to a meth pinch.
The suspect was taken away and brought up on criminal possession of a controlled substance (methemphetamine), unsafe turn (failure to signal), and aggravated unlicensed operator of a motor vehicle.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Long Island City: Perv On Train Caught Toying With His Tool
HE WAS JOYRIDING.
A sicko couldn’t keep his member in his pants.
The 46-year-old was spotted by a straphanger who will never unsee him riding that 7 train back on the late evening of March 22.
The eager one was seen sitting down while whipping out his appendage that he cradled in his hand.
Officers quickly took the man into custody and charged him with public lewdness and exposure of a person.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Tompkinsville: Pistol Pointing Gal Shouts, ‘I Will Shoot You!’
A DIRTY HARRIETTE was ready to cap off.
Back at around 3:15 a.m. on March ll, the 35-year-old woman was backed up by two others in front of a home on Chester Place near Cebra Avenue — a man and a teenager — when she allegedly stepped to a person and threatened to unload lethal force.
Authorities say the woman pulled out a blue and silver gun and bellowed, “I will shoot you!”
Their target cowered and the woman stowed the piece in a bag and then handed it to the teen, according to the criminal complaint.
The three then fled.
But cops were quick to the jump and lassoed all three.
They found the aforementioned gun tucked into the teenager’s crotch, the document reads.
The authorities determined the gun was a 9mm SCCY CPX1 Semi-automatic filled with 10 rounds and one in the chamber.
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ John Wilkes Booth’s Revolver? (Bronx, NY)
BRONX COPS SHOWED off an ruin of a revolver. The firearm football spike drew much pillory.
44 PCT: Thursday, 44 NST Officers apprehended an individual who possessed this illegal firearm.
«SOURCE»
BACKTALK:
Aidan Maxwell Pysher: I'm pretty sure it was still called New Amsterdam when that gun was first tossed in the river.
Tristan Horner: Where’d you apprehend him, the Mariana Trench?
Michael James: “I have a plan Arthur” lookin gun🤣
Philip Scarangella: I had that same cap gun as a child . lol 😆
Seth Wills: Looks like he needs to stop at the gunsmith in Blackwater and get some new grips and some gun oil for it 🤣. He’s got the LENNYYYYYYYYY
Patrick Vtwo: So im assuming the firearm itself wasnt illegal but the person in possession of it was a prohibited person. That doesnt make the firearm illegal.
John Stofik Sr.: Did they get the roll of caps too?
Kyle Etter: As a Smith & Wesson model three top brake there’s a very good chance that this is an antique gun not a firearm 
Aaron Mattson: Who'd you get that off of? John Wilkes Booth?
⬛ NYCTALGIC
▀ 17 Y.O. Wiseguy Carmine Persico Busted (Brooklyn, NY) - March 2, 1951
Credit: Gary Kagan
FUTURE COLOMBO FAMILY boss Carmine Persico held without bail at Brooklyn's Bergen Street Precinct.
«SOURCE»
▀ Occupy Wall Street (New York, NY) - May. 1, 2011
Credit: Rob Corbett
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Lambo Birdmaster (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Subway Shadow Boxer (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Nightriders Cont. (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Bank Vestibule Occupancy (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ ‘You Drag Here Again — I’ll Fucking Kill You!’ (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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