THEY WERE DRIVING heavy. 

A 31-year-old man, and his 45-year-old galpal, were stopped driving in a white Acura bearing sketchy plates. 

The suspects were caught heading along Amsterdam Avenue off West 177th Street back during the early evening of Aug. 2, according to the criminal complaint. 

Cops clocked the Acura and found a pistol in plain view. 

They then took the pair out of the ride and discovered five more 9mm semi-automatic pistols and a silver revolver. 

The suspects pleaded not guilty to criminal possession of a loaded firearm and criminal sale of a firearm.

HE WAS CRUISING for some company and then landed himself in lockup. 

A 29-year-old goon roaming around the South Bronx eager for not just one date — but two — made a desperate attempt to score. 

Cops say it was around 6 p.m. on Aug. 6 when he was caught propositioning two women with cash for sex. 

He apparently didn’t impress enough of a roll or charm and so he stayed stag. 

Cops caught up to him not far from his swing-and-miss of the women. 

Once stopped, cops searched him and discovered a Ziploc bag filled with “Tusi” — a popular pink-hued cocaine. 

The drug debuted with the onslaught of the Venezuelan gang Tren De Aragua. 

The perp in the is case who couldn’t find a willing bed partner was subsequently taken away to a cage where he faces promoting prostitution and drug possession

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THE SUN WAS about to rise, but one fella was already choking the rooster. 

A 28-year-old was standing on a sidewalk at around 6:15 a.m. back on July 9. It was there that early risers couldn’t unsee the man going to town on his exposed member. 

The masturbatory act was documented in court papers as the man showing  off his “fully exposed penis” in his “hand.”

The cops, doubling as vice squad in this case, enforced the man to pull up his trousers. He was subsequently dinged with lewdness (intent to be seen) and exposure of a person.

FOR TWO DAYS in a row, a fiend threatened the life of a man at his job. 

The 22-year-old bumrushed his target outside a strip mall on Merrick Boulevard late afternoon on July 20. 

The suspect allegedly sneered, “I will kill you,” before taking hold of a heavy metal scooter and beaming it at him. 

The launched scooter struck a display case. But it also smashed the man’s foot. 

The next day, the same perp returned for more. 

He darted toward the same victim and blabbed, “I’m going to kill you.”

This time he was wielding a piece of plywood. 

Rather than do harm to his intended, the suspect destroyed a security camera with several swings of timber. 

Coppers took hold of the hostile and when he was quizzed about why he went nutso on the man — he didn’t deny the accusations.

However, he believed that his actions were innocuous. 

“I didn't hurt anybody,” he allegedly told investigators. 

The suspect was formally charged with assault, attempted assault, criminal mischief, and weapons possession.

A SLICK RICK tried to pull a fast one over the tax man. 

And lost big time. 

The 20-year-old was nailed for trying to sneak into the Empire State loads of cigarettes bearing Virginia stamps. 

The smuggler was captured on the morning of Feb. 9 outside a nameless bodega on Hylan Boulevard and Armstrong Avenue sitting in a parked gold Honda sedan. 

The officers on scene eyeballed the car and found it had a duffel bag with 11 cartons of cigarettes. 

Inside the bodega, the cops counted 89 cartons of the contraband tobacco. 

The suspect was taken down for dodging cigarette and tobacco product tax and possession of untaxed cigarettes.

A GRANNY WAS mugged by a two-bit thief.

The suspect was lurking around 29th Street on the night of Aug. 13. He ambushed an 81-year-old and ripped off her $500 necklace before fleeing.

AN OLD MAN was taken for his chain by an e-bike cowboy.

The elder was sitting on a bench along 12th Avenue inside Hudson River Park back at around 6:45 p.m. on Aug. 12.

The perp rolled up, snatched the chain and took off.

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OVER 200 ILLICIT mopeds and motorcycles were seized with the help of drones, choppers, and barrier trucks.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

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