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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00206 — 08-04-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Yorkville: Freed Tasmanian Devil Dances Victory Jig After Being Released For Tearing Up Duane Reade ‘Boom-Boom-Bop!’
A WILY RASCAL was extra hot on his heels when he learned a judge would spring him loose.
The 40-year-old was taken into custody after allegedly wrecking a Duane Reade located on First Avenue off East 57th Street back on the afternoon of July 28.
A unit responded to the nuisance inciter and he wasn’t too bashful of his exploits.
“I know why you guys are here,” the Nostradamus allegedly boasted. “I was disorderly in the store.”
He then detailed exactly what kind of mess he wrought. “I knocking things off the shelf — ‘Boom-boom-bop!”
In court, the suspect was donning a black UFC T-shirt.
‘I was disorderly in the store. I knocking things off the shelf — Boom-boom-bop!’
The judge decided the suspect, who had racked up an eye-watering 25 priors, deserved to enroll in a diversion program and therefore dodge any hard time.
Her decision sent him over the moon.
And he even moonwalked — or whatever the dance steps were.
Even though the cuffs came off and he was breakdancing like a boss, he had to stick around and get started on one of his four court-mandated treatment classes that same day.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Fordham Heights: Roundup At ‘Great Expectations’ School Yields Saturday Night Special
AMONG THE 11 BUSTED in a school — one of them was armed.
The suspects were taken into custody for rabblerousing (rather than studying) at the off time of 11 p.m. on Aug. 1.
The lawless lot, whose ages ranged from late teens to 30-years-old, were taken away.
All of them are going to be dealing with the consequences of a 20–year-old fellow arrestee’s 32-caliber Smith and Wesson Saturday Night Special revolver on school grounds that he tossed to the ground.
Besides the possession charge, he’s facing criminal possession of a loaded firearm and possession of ammo.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Dyker Heights: Crack Buster Breaks Into Granny’s Home Through Window, Launches Her Twice To The Floor
SOME KIND OF evil must have washed over an intruder who thought he could show off his Hercules brawn by tossing around a frail geriatric to the ground.
The 29-year-old zero is charged with breaking through the window of the 83-year-old woman’s home on 12th Avenue near 72nd Street before she could savor a sip of Folgers on June 22.
THe suspect initially scaled a fence to reach the old woman’s backyard before prying open her window, the criminal complaint details.
The window was ruined.
He then charged after the octogenarian and shoved her to the ground two times.
The perp was nabbed.
And once in custody they searched him and found a fat sack of crack.
He then hit the combo deal: charges of burglary, assault (victim 65 or older,) criminal trespass, criminal mischief, and wash it down with criminal possession of a controlled substance (crack).
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Middle Village: Opportunist Nabbed Nicking iPhone From Slumbering Straphanger
A SOUTHBOUND M train had a victim snoozing and another grifter feeling ripe for a little larceny.
A victim claims he had woken up while riding aboard an M train back at around 1:30 a.m. on June 21.
He claims when he came to his iPhone was gone.
CCTV captured a 50-year-old perp take advantage of the conked out passenger.
He grabbed the device and then tiptoed away during a stop.
But coppers tracked down the gizmo goon and he was soon getting processed for jostling (hand near pocket/pickpocket) and grand larceny (from a person).
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ New Springville: Crack Fiend Caught Trying To Boost Merch From JC Penny
A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN wasn’t slick enough to slip away from the clutches of justice.
The 51-year-old woman was witnessed pilfering various summer styles from JC Penny’s store shelves inside the Staten Island Mall at around dinnertime on July 6, the criminal complaint states.
Specifically, the woman holding a black bag and a TJ Maxx shopping bag, stashed two pairs of shorts and three toddler sets.
Then the suspected thief tried exiting the store without paying at the register.
Once stopped, officers found a glass pipe and a quantity of coke.
The suspect was pinched for petit larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, and possession of a controlled substance.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Safe Robber (New York, NY)
▀ Stabbers Nabbed (Hempstead, NY)
▀ Petit Larcenists (Staten Island, NY)
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Galactic Graff (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Road Whoops (Bronx, NY)
COPS COLLECTED A Taurus G3C 9mm pistol following a traffic stop and made several collars.
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Fox Street (Bronx, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Timber Trouble (Flushing, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Unwanted Creeper (Brooklyn, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ NYPD PSA Of The Day (New York, NY)
▀ Street Takeover War Fog (Corona, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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