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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00241 — 09-23-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
Ever feel like you aren’t getting much value out of your subscriptions?
Not The Blotter. Everyday a patron gets a feast of news fare.
Please, please, please… with sugar on top…
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Crafty Freeloader Stays In Deceased Man’s Hotel Room
PUT IT ON his tab!
A middle-aged man cooked-up quite the hustle: he lucked on a midtown hotel room reserved for long-term stay by a business executive — was left idle.
Why wasn’t it occupied?
The guest was dead.
And rather than let good wine go undrank; or in this case a room be left unused — the suspect indulged himself.
And not just for one day. No. He crashed in the fancy digs for several months.
Until he was caught.
The swindler was formally taken into custody over the summer and charged with a host of crimes.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Bedford-Stuyvesant: Pair Dinged Taking Late Night Dip
IF THE AIM was a wet’n wild night for two lovers — she drew the short stick.
A 46-year-old marauder and her swimming partner were nailed for swimming in a community pool.
A security guard spotted the pair while doing his rounds at the Bedford-Stuyvesant Community Pool located on Marcy Avenue at around 1:15 a.m. on Aug. 25.
When he pursued the wet trespassers, the guard was only able to detain the woman before cops arrived.
Her Romeo wasn’t ready to catch a case for a couple minutes of bliss.
The woman has since been brought up on both trespass and criminal trespass charges.
▀ Melrose: Coffee-Tossing Goon Dinged For Setting Several Fires Outside Ex Galpal’s Apartment And Crowing ‘I Like To See Things Burn!’
IT WASN’T ENOUGH that the lunatic who beamed her ex with a hot cup of joe. The same broken heart exacted scorched earth revenge by setting three fires on the same day.
The 67-year-old scoundrel first went after his ex lover on the morning of March 24, the criminal complaint states.
He found her inside a community center inside the Cortland Houses.
It was there that he armed himself with a scolding cup of coffee that he chucked at her and it struck her face and caused her to suffer burns.
Months past by and then the same psycho reared his head again. This time it was around 6:30 a.m. on July 19.
The perp was bright eyed and bushy tailed to gift his ex with a wakeup call.
There he was hammering her front door.
He then belted her first name. (The Blotter is not revealing the woman’s name.)
When the woman refused to open her door to let the despot into her home — she was nearly smoked out when the kook kindled a backpack and random refuse to create the blaze.
The fire department was called and the Bravest extinguished the blaze.
At around 1:30 p.m. (and even as the smoke was still billowing) outside her front door — the same looney tune came back steaming for another round.
He stood outside the woman’s home and howled, “I like to see things burn!”
And again, the perp lit another blaze. This one was fueled by a coat and more trash.
Firefighters had to be summoned to knock down the flames.
At around 5 p.m. the same suspect wasn’t done.
He returned and showerd the woman’s name again. And with some more trash managed to cause another fire.
Before it got too out of control, a neighbor jumped into action and snuff the fire.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Richmond Hill: ‘Give Me A Break, Boss!’: Driver Caught Greasing Cop With Supper And A C-Note
AN ELDER RIDER was hauled away after trying to bribe a cop to weasel out of a speeding ticket.
The 63-year-old man was tooling around in a blue 2015 Toyota 4runner at around 9:30 p.m. on Aug. 30.
‘I was going that fast?’
The cop clocked the driver going 35 MPH in a 30 MPH zone.
A traffic stop was enforced around I678 and Liberty Avenue.
As the officer struck up chatter with the driver and informed him, “You were driving over the speed limit,” the criminal complaint reads.
The driver allegedly appeared flummoxed and almost appeared to be mocking the matter with his comeback.
“I was going that fast,” he asked, before continuing, “Oh, man.
“Give me a break, boss. I’ll buy you dinner, man.”
All the blarney didn’t seem to move the cop, who requested the driver produce his driver’s license and registration.
While the driver complied, it was noted in the papers that he handed over his license with a “large grin”.
‘Give me a break, boss. I’ll buy you dinner, man.’
He not only supplied the driver’s license but cherry-topped it with a $100 note.
The move compelled the officer to ask the driver “if he handed Him money to get out of a speeding ticket,” the complaint states.
‘No, I knew that I would get a ticket. I know you guys just work hard.’
But the driver declared it was a honest good tip for doing his job.
“No, I knew that I would get a ticket,” he explained. “I know you guys just work hard.”
Reached by The Blotter, the driver remained cagey.
“No, that’s okay,” he said. “I don’t want to get involved with that right now.”
When informed of the bribery rap he faces for last month’s infraction — he remained mum.
“You, you’re the writer right,” he asked. “Nah, right now I’m not interested in that right now.”
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Lighthouse Hill: Teen Beamer Pest Caught Nearly Month After Hit-And-Run
A BMW GHOUL was wheeled away after striking a person.
The cruel act took place after midnight on Aug. 9 on London Road.
The now 18-year-old was said to be zipping around the residential nabe when he clipped the pedestrian — sending them flying to the asphalt.
The suspect didn’t stop or show any humanity at all, authorities say according to the criminal complaint.
Instead, he savagely kept driving off and left the wounded person to die like roadkill.
Weeks would tick away, but on Aug. 26, cops put bracelets on the young man and he was hit with several charges including leaving the scene of an accident, assault (with a weapon,) reckless endangerment, menacing, and criminal possession of a weapon.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Credit Crook Strikes At Home Depot (Brooklyn, NY)
A SLEEVELESS SOMEONE is being pursued for purchasing goods from a Home Depot with another person’s credit card. The suspect, snapped by surveillance on Sept. 11 inside the Home Depot located on Cropsey Avenue, remains on the loose.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Staticky (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Red, White And Blue (Bronx, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ > Gun (Jamaica, NY)
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Night Session (New York, NY)
▀ Squabbles (College Point, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Close Call (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Tossers (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ T Sq Whiz By (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Breezers (Astoria, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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