
THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 0042 — 01-13-26
BY: M.L. Nestel

Illustration by Rob Weiss

The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.

⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Gramercy Park: Hoodlums Go On Stickup Spree, Robbing Fruit Vendor And Bodega For $5 And Cell Phones
SMALL TIME CROOKS barely scored enough buy an honest slice.
All day on Oct. 3, the 18-year-old and his crime partners plundered for scraps.
At around 1:30 a.m. inside a bodega located on Spring and Sullivan Streets, the suspect and another mystery pal burst into the establishment. The pal pulled a gun while the suspect slithered behind the counter to take away the clerk’s cell phone and pocket just $5.
The same perp secured more muscle.
He was rolling with two other accomplices when they allegedly struck again 12 hours later.
This time it was a fruit stand propped up on 1st Avenue and East 23rd Street. The perps swarmed the vendor, putting him in a headlock and rifling his pockets for his cell phone and his wallet.
When they fled, the suspects tossed or dropped the stolen phone. The wallet, holding his credit cards wasn’t recovered.
Cops netted the suspect on Dec. 4 and he faces robbery (with a firearm) and criminal possession of stolen property.

⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Edenwald + Williamsbridge: Fapper Dinged Thrice Tugging Dingaling
A CAVALIER sicko keeps getting busted pleasuring himself in his parked Mercedes.
The 52-year-old went on a banner run dating back to Oct. 16.
Cops say at around 4:15 while sitting inside his 2012 Mercedes-Benz sedan resting on Boston Road and Baychester Avenue (a block away from Cardinal Spellman High School).
Authorities say the accused had “all the windows down” while a 16-year-old was in eyeshot — he exposed his “erect penis” outside his pants to masturbate.
A week later, the same alleged jackoff was parked outside Fenton and Boston Avenues.
He was again seated inside the Mercedes with the passenger side window lowered while another girl was nearby and out came his stimulated appendage and again his hand “moving up and down”.
And at around 2:45 p.m. on Nov. 5, while parked at the corner of Bronxwood Avenue and East 222 Street, the same suspect was doing the same one-man-hand dance with yet again all the windows down.
But this time a 14-year-old girl was outside the car and trying to unsee the perv doing his stag sex.
He was brought up on several counts of public lewdness, endangering the welfare of a child, and harassment.

⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Sunset Park: Sunset Park: Couple Caught Hiding Crack, Smack, And Gun Stash

Credit: NYPD
SURELY NOBODY WOULD look under the bed mattress.
That was the logic of two Einsteins who must have deduced that nobody would think to check there.
The suspects, a 25-year-old man and a 26-year-old woman, were met by the law at around 7:15 a.m. on Dec. 2.
The warrant-armed authorities surrounded a building on 58th Street near 6th Avenue and turned over the joint.

They first frisked the man who was allegedly packing a loaded 9mm pistol. They also flipped over the bedroom mattress and lo and behold — there was a loaded .22 caliber single-shot Deringer (aka the “Little Dick” gun) and extra ammo.
When cuffing the woman officers found she was holding some crack rocks.
It wasn’t far from a living room table where even more crack was piled on a plate next to 75 single-serving glassine sleeves filled with heroin. There also appears to be a bundle of greenbacks.
Authorities hauled them away and formally slapped the pair with criminal possession of a loaded firearm, criminal possession of a controlled substance (heroin/with intent to sell).
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ South Ozone Park: Jetsetter Gets Grounded With 10 LBS. Of Ganja At JFK
HE WAS AIMING for that mile high. But he didn’t get to take off.
A 33-year-old opportunistic flyer was exposed with two suitcases loaded with several pounds of sensimilla.
It was 1:45 p.m. on Dec. 21 at JFK Airport’s Terminal 4, the international hub.
The suspect was interdicted by customs officers and Port Authority cops when trying to board a flight.
They say the man checked two bags, bearing his name on the tags, that were filled to the brim with heavyweight amounts of cannabis.
The first suitcase was found to contain 17 bags of greens. And the second bag was found to be holding 24 bags of buds.
The suspect was taken brought under and faces criminal possession of cannabis (first degree / more than 10-pounds or more than 4-pounds concentrated).

⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Shore Acres: Meth Trio Caught In Lux Wheels With Knuckle Dusters, Silencer Pistol

Credit: NYPD
A TRIO WAS rolling around town in a 2019 Alpha Romeo when they attracted attention for obscuring the ride’s license plate.
A 24-year-old driver was being eyed by the law at around 12:15 a.m. on Dec. 28 with the car’s plate sheathed in a plastic cover.
The cops pursued and compelled the three to pull over on Vanderbilt Avenue near Tompkins Avenue. Questions were asked and the driver and passengers clearly were rattled and allegedly attempted to jump ship.
One of the three shoved a cop in their bid to escape.
Their AWOL effort failed. All three were wrangled and the ride was searched.
They found methamphetamine, brass knuckles, and a loaded 9mm pistol outfitted with a sound suppressor.
Since none of the three claimed the gun — all three took the rap.
There were also charges brought for the drugs, aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle, and obscured license plate.

⬛ NYCSTALGIA
▀ Oliver Twists Caught Pickpocketing (New York, NY) - 1900s

«SOURCE»
▀ World’s Fair (New York, NY) - 1964

«SOURCE»
▀ Washington Street and Little West 12th (West Village, NY) - 1984

«SOURCE»

⬛ ET. AL

▀ WATCH: Alleged Counterfeit Watch Seller Snared In Foot Chase (Lower Manhattan, NY)

A CAMERA SHADOWED two uniforms pursuing a suspected vendor hocking knockoff timepieces on Canal Street.
«SOURCE»
▀ SUV Crashes At CVS (Park Slope, NY)

A CAR FLIPPED over in front of a CVS and compelled FDNY to save the driver.
«SOURCE»
▀ Burglar Bundles $20K Worth Of Valuables (Prospect Heights, NY)

Credit: NYPD
A CAT BURGLAR breached a building’s rooftop and ceiling to collect heaps of pricy stuff.
The crook was captured on CCTV back at around midnight on Oct. 14 launching into a building located on Fulton Street and Nostrand Avenue.
He allegedly trotted off with $20,000 worth of stolen merch.
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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