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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00234 — 09-14-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
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Please, please, please… with sugar on top…
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ East Village: Woman Woken Up By Sicko Invader
A WANKER SLITHERED into a woman’s home and started playing with himself.
It was around 4:30 a.m. on Aug. 29 when the woman was stirred awake inside her East 7th Street flat.
There before her was a half naked man getting off right in front of her.
She called the cops.
Initially, the 26-year-old 26-year-old stick shiner slipped away.
But the following day, they netted him.
He was hit with sexually motivated burglary.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Mott Haven: Chain Snatchers End 3 Month Spree
TWO LOWLIFES TUNED up a man for his chain and gismos.
The 20-year-old and crime partner targeted the victim walking along East 139th Street at around 10 p.m. on March 9.
The perps first ripped a chain off the man’s neck and then snatched his digital tablet.
The perp's pal swung a blunt object "multiple times" to strike the man from behind his back.
That impact caused the victim to drop his cell phone. He picked it up and together they made their escape.
The cruel attacker grabbed the cell phone and then sprinted off.
Cops tracked down the duo back on July 28. They linked him to two other Bronx strong arm robberies dated April 16 and May 17.
The suspects were slapped with robbery with a dangerous instrument, grand larceny from a person, assault petit larceny and criminal possession of stolen property.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Clinton Hill: Tuna Can Crook Rough Up Grocery Worker ‘I Can Kill Him And We Can Just Run!’
SOME EARTH LOVING diehards were willing to draw blood for a can of sustainably wild caught tuna.
There’s something in those canse of line-caught fish that can make men go sideways.
And perhaps that’s what happened here.
At around 12:30 p.m. on July 27, two men, ages 24 and 25, entered a Wholesome Farms Market located on Fulton Street.
They pilfered various goods including a Pringles canister, a Poland Spring water bottle, a bottle of Tabasco hot sauce, and that fetching One Safe Catch tuna can.
‘Let’s run!’
The perps attempted to beeline it to the exit without paying a dime for the goods, according to the criminal complaint.
When their heist was found out, a worker attempted to intervene.
“Let’s run,” shrieked the older perp.
Then he reached for a glass bottle and held it at the hero clerk.
He snapped, “I can kill him and we can just run.”
The victim lunged backward the perp swung at him with the bottle.
But in dodging the attempt, the clerk sprained his toe.
‘I can kill him and we can just run.’
The thieves then tried to flee and were thwarted by coworkers.
One of them stood in front of them before they could reach the door.
That had the younger of the suspects shove the worker aside, causing her to suffer sprained fingers and chipped nail, the papers say.
Both men were nabbed and taken down for robbery (with a dangerous weapon), assault of a retail worker, menacing, petit larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Long Island City: Wolf Crier Busted For Fibbing About Being An ID Theft Victim
HE YODLED TO the skyscrapers about being taken for months by some dastardly deviants.
And then the investigators, after expending time and treasure to run down the claims made on the afternoon of Feb 4, they determined it was all hooey.
The 32-year-old was spindling a yarn the entire time.
He claimed that he had his Chase Bank account compromised from December of last year up until January.
He further tried to convince the cops that the usurpers of his account had run up tabs all over the place.
One of the incidents he flagged to authorities was a 2:30 a.m. chow run to Taco Bell located on 21st Street
He maintained the perp or perps hit the fast food joint and racked up a $10.97 tab for the repast.
But it backfired.
The cops secured surveillance footage form that early morning from the restaurant and determined the man in question was the same one filing the complaint.
That sent the foul crier had invented the entire matter.
He faces a charge of filing a false report for an incident that didn't happen.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Arden Heights: Woman’s Coke And Meth Lair Exposed
IT SEEMED LIKE an ordinary suburban home.
Leafy and safe.
And yet when the 46-year-old woman was caught packing a bunch of dope — cops searched the Shotwell Avenue domicile and found more dope.
The woman was first picked up on the afternoon of July 29.
They found she had some crack on her.
A warrant was issued to check her home.
Officers found in the bedroom drawer a red Ziploc baggie with more crack, a silo with a green Ziploc bag, another clear bag with crystal meth, and a black scale.
She was then taken down for a slew of raps including drug possession, and paraphernalia.
▀ Fire Future
THE FDNY WANTS more tech.
In their sights is a touch screen smart human anatomy table to rear the next gen of EMTs and medics.
Earlier this month, the FDNY EMS academy opened the bidding for suppliers to supply them with these body computers.
According to one manufacturer, Anatamage Inc, the tables are FDA-approved and provide a touch screen 3-DF virtual visualization of the human anatomy, from internal organs to skeleton, to help enhance training and surgical practice. The accompanying computer software comes with 1,500 preloaded medical scenarios and patient cases for "diverse disease references," according to the request.
The City's official request for solicitation does not include a pricing index on what the city would be willing to pay or how many they intend to purchase.
But the new anatomy tables from Anatomage Inc, a Califonia-based medical tech company, run anywhere from $85,000 to $120,000 apiece.
In March, the FDNY purchased nearly $112,000 worth of lifelike training "Manikins" that bleed and simulate amputation with removable limbs to help simulate heavy hemorrhaging and amputation to train the public on the use of tourniquets as part of a campaign they launched called "Stop the Bleed" training program.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Gun Striking Ghoul (Staten Island, NY)
AN OUTSTANDING GHOUL pistol-whipped a woman then sexually violated her.
THe suspect appeared before a 37-year-old woman on the nigh tof Sept. 9 while she was by the intersection of Dongan Hills Avenue and Jefferson Street.
He struck her with his gun and then proceeded to raper her.
▀ Bang-Banger (Brooklyn, NY)
A HOODED PERP is being pursued for blasting off.
He allegedly fired several rounds outside a Stanley Avenue building on Aug. 20.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Cinder (Brooklyn, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Landlord Spat Score (Bronx, NY)
COPS RESPONDING TO a dispute between a landlord and tenant turned up a bunch of questionable cash and loads of deal-ready dope.
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ WTC Attack Subway Daylighted (Lower Manhattan, NY)
WRECKAGE SHOWS THE Cortlandt Street station on the 1 train line, post-North WTC Tower collapse.
⬛ ET. AL
▀ SUV Gets Jelly Donut’d (Bronx, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Vrooming Perp Drags Cop (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Not-So-Slippery Suspect (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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