THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00186 — 07-07-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
-BACK TB FOR $1/MONTH…
-CHIP IN:
-CLICK ADS: Each issue features an ad. If readers could simply click the ad(s) — it would be a small little token that the company pays out. Please consider this. Yes it will open a window. But think of it as clicking it for goodness sake.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Pyro Blames ‘Stroke’ For Setting Pylon Ablaze At Port Authority
A FLAMER CLAIMING he was suffering a stroke set a pylon on fire and caused Port Authority Bus Terminal and blocks surrounding it to be evacuated.
So whoever was attempting to get to work that fine June 2 morning were treated instead to irksome delays and fire crews rushing the transportation hub to knock out a blaze.
CCTV and witnesses spotted a 52-year-old using a lighter in one of the station’s stairwells using an official Port Authority traffic cone as kindle.
The effort caused a bomb of smoke to overtake the immediate surroundings and forced the hand of authorities to empty the Port Authority and also cordoned off the entirety of West 41st street between Eighth and Ninth Avenues.
And when the flames were snuffed and the suspected destroyer in cuffs, he allegedly blamed the burning antics on a personal health scare.
“I had a stroke,” he told investigators. “That's why I set this cone on fire.”
On the precipice of death or not — the man was subsequently charged with arson and criminal mischief.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Melrose: Armed Goon Caught Flashing Iron In Shakedown
A LOOSE CANNON tried to take a man for cash by brandishing a pistol.
Cops were called and showed up immediately after a 48-year-old suspect pulled out his lethal force in hopes of scoring booty.
It was minutes after 3 p.m. on June 20 when the perp was playing gangster on the corner of East 156th Street and St. Ann's Avenue.
He allegedly demanded cash while flashing a .380 caliber piece.
But he got away with zip.
The officers stopped the goon and found in his pocket the gun.
He was hauled away and charged with robbery, weapons possession, and menacing.
Business news in 5 minutes flat. Morning Brew breaks down markets, tech, and the economy — clearly, quickly, and with serious personality. 100% free. Join 4M+ Readers.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Brooklyn Heights: Crafty Crook Caught Weeks After Nicking Cell Phone Off Straphanger
HE PULLED THE old score and scurry.
A grubby ganker was apparently waiting for his move to snatch a cell phone off an unsuspecting man while riding a subway train.
The 30-year-old perp was aboard a subway as it entered Borough Hall back at around 3 a.m. on May 17.
Authorities say surveillance footage shows the heister starting to exit the train and take hold of a man’s cell phone and then slip out of the closing doors.
It took some time before investigators made the suspect.
He was subsequently nabbed on June 4 and brought up on petit larceny (hate crime), grand larceny (for a person), and criminal possession of stolen property.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Jamaica: Defecator Confesses To Tossing Her Feces At Supposed Ogler, ‘I Picked Up The Shit And Threw It At Him!’
THE PUBLIC DEFILER claims her privacy was abused. So the tosser lost her shit.
At least that’s the story she waxed to investigators clothes-pinning their noses.
A 26-year-old woman was apparently in desperate need of a loo while wandering along the leafy block of 153rd Street and 123rd Avenue back on the morning of June 11.
Cops were called by a neighbor who claims he saw a woman dropping her pants and going to the bathroom on the street.
‘I was taking a shit right here. He just walks up and he just looks.’
He further detailed how she allegedly “threw her feces” at him, beaming him in the back of his noggin.
When cops caught up to the potty-challenged woman — she not only didn’t deny committing the dirty deed, but she spun a tale of woe.
“I was taking a shit right here,” she explained as if playing the tour guide to her very own inner sanctum. “He just walks up and he just looks.”
The fact that she wasn’t allowed to unload herself on the public street in peace perplexed the litterbug.
“So he basically just looks and I have shit still coming out my ass.”
The woman, with such colorful details in her rendition, then cops to getting revenge on her gawker.
“I picked up the shit and threw it at him.”
She was taken down for attempted assault, public lewdness, and harassment.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Bulls Head: Antichrist Caught Wrecking Church’s Mary And Baby Jesus Statue
A PHILISTINE WAS busted after going berserk on a statue depicting the the son of God and his immaculate mother.
At around April 20, the disbeliever was bagged for taking hold of a statue of an infant Jesus Christ held in the arms of his mother Mary from the façade of Church of Our Lady of Pity.
The 31-year-old perp’s rage against the semi Nativity scene took hold of the statue and tossed it a ways — causing it to crack.
A church worker discovered the attack of the delicate item and determined it no longer could fit in its former resting spot.
Four days later, the accused was dinged for aggravated harassment (at a religious institution) and criminal mischief (damage property exceeding $250).
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Hack Crash (Ozone Park, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Beamer Drifter (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Stunting (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Sideshow Revelers Sing Blues (Ozone Park, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ E-Bike Scoundrels (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Siren Evader (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ NYPD Commencement (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
-30-
*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
-----------------------------------------------------------------X
Say hey…
:missives:
«facebook»
:socials: