IT MIGHT BE God’s house, but that doesn’t mean everybody’s welcome.

When an especially pissed off man was denied entry by a Catholic church volunteer to use the bathroom — he allegedly pulled out a boxcutter and slashed his face.

It was around 6:45 p.m. on Nov. 1 when the suspect, a 63-year-old man (and who had been told not enter the premises at least one prior time), approached the chapel and asked to relieve himself in the bathroom.

The church volunteer, also 63, told him he could not.

That answer allegedly enraged the suspect who allegedly pulled out a box cutter, swung it at the makeshift gatekeeper, drawing blood.

The victim had to be rushed to a local hospital to tend to his laceration.

Meantime, the accused was picked up minutes after the brutal assault.

Attempts to reach the victim were unsuccessful.

At his arraignment, the suspect pleaded not guilty and was issued an order of protection to keep away from the church or the wounded volunteer.

He is due back in court in late January, court records show.

SEVERAL JAVA DRINKERS likely wish they could unsee the full monty show one sicko put on.

Minutes after 10 a.m. on Sept. 28, authorities say the 28-year-old took a shining to a woman who had walked toward and then entered a Starbucks on Hugh J. Grant Circle.

Once inside the shop, the woman was forced to be distracted from placing her latte order. That’s because the creep that had been shadowing her was standing at the window and yawped, “Your ass is mine!”

He then proceeded to prove his manlihood by popping open his pants and dropping them and “stood with his erect penis exposed” for all to see.

The woman feared for her safety and alarmed workers and customers alike rang the police.

Officers arrived and cuffed and covered the bare bonehead.

He was then brought under for public lewdness, exposure, and harassment.

A LIT LITTERBUG must have been so faded he forgot about that shooting case he caught months earlier.

The 19-year-old puffer was enjoying some nice nuggs while pacing along Euclid Avenue near Etna Street at around 8 p.m. on Oct. 8.

When the man was through with the fatty joint, he allegedly tossed it on the sidewalk; while a cop was gawking.

The free spirit apparently crossed the law and when he was approached by the officer, he allegedly resisted by “pushing away” and tensing” his arms to avoid being handcuffed, according to the criminal complaint.

The herb-flicking bust came after the accused was defending against attempted murder rap.

The hotstepper was identified as the gunman in a Jan. 26 predawn shooting on the corner of Fulton and Richmond Streets.

A man saw the suspect and two others approach him as he was exiting his car.

Almost instantly, a lone gunshot was fired causing the driver to wilt to the ground having suffered from a slug that fractured his leg.

Investigators managed to secure CCTV video of the perps both prior and after the attack — and they discovered distinct blue sneakers the suspect was wearing when he allegedly gunned down his human target.

Some social scraping led cops to a specific Instagram account belonging to the burnout blaster featuring his profile donning “the distinctive” blue kicks, according to the criminal complaint.

HE ASKED FOR a leaded fill-up.

A woman allegedly wasn’t shy about her role in helping to orchestrate gunplay at a Shell gas station.

The 25-year-old was quizzed on Oct. 22 — one day after she allegedly appeared on CCTV handing a pistol to a man before he unloaded on a group during a dispute.

“A fight happened yesterday at the gas station,” she allegedly told investigators of the showdown that was clocked in at 5:30 p.m. at the Shell station on North Conduit Avenue and Springfield Boulevard.

Authorities describe the footage showing the woman wearing a white sweatshirt with black pants and yellow shoes.

When pressed about what transpired there, the accused allegedly explained how she took her uncle’s car for a spin and while they pulled into the gas station she and her brother squared off with another group.

“Is this because of the gun,” she queried, according to the criminal complaint. “I got the gun. It was under the seat.”

She then appeared to throw her bro under her uncle’s car… “The boy is my brother,” she said. “My brother drove us away… He told me to give him the gun.”

The papers suggest the woman did as she was told: retrieved the piece as tensions were spilling over and with the 9mm pistol in hand, her brother allegedly opened fire.

The brother allegedly shot two rounds, perhaps warning shots as they failed to strike anyone.

One of the men that he was aiming at, according to the document, was captured by cops.

They canvassed the grounds and collected two shell casings.

It’s unclear if the gun was recovered or if the cops managed to nab the suspect’s trigger-happy brother.

She was slapped with attempted murder, attempted assault, weapons possession, reckless endangerment among other charges.

A MIDDLEWEIGHT MOPE was caught fibbing his age after getting handy with a woman.

Back at around 8 p.m. on Oct. 30, the 54-year-old lowlife allegedly sent a woman smack into a wall inside of a Wooldand Avenue home, according to the criminal complaint.

Upon arriving to deal with the domestic incident, the suspect tried to convince the officers that he was just a shuffling grandpa who cuts coupons for kicks. Indeed, he passed off his birthdate being 1951.

They didn’t buy it.

In fact, the suspect was actually born in 1951.

He has since been charged with assault and aggravated harassment for the harm done to the woman.

James McConnell 54, arrest # S25610517, arrested October 30, 122 Pct, charged with assault (victim 65 or older,)  assault causing physical injury and harassment.

A SAKE BOTTLE basher leveled a suited comer.

It didn’t end well.

A stones throw from Madison Square Garden (home of many legendary boxing bouts and sport contests) a snippet shows a man in a suit seemingly try another lugging around a large trash bag.

The post reads: “Sometimes it’s better to just walk away because some people have nothing to lose[.]”

The garbage bag man seems to dodge the first roundhouse thrown by the suited man.

Mr. Bottle then drops his garbage bag reaches for a small ledge for a very tall bottle (that looks to be emptied sake) and wields it at the challenger.

He then quickly lunges at Mr. Suit (who tries to throw another futile haymaker) and cracks him over the head.

Mr. Suit goes down for the count for a spell as Mr. Bottle books it.

The suited man then attempts to wobble on his feet, and one fellow Good Sam holds him upright to help him come-to.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.