
THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 0032 — 12-23-25
BY: M.L. Nestel

Illustration by Rob Weiss

The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!


⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Richmond: Supermarket Staffer Caught Going Scorched Earth

IT WAS HAZMAT on aisle 12.
A 21-year-old employee at ShopRite Supermarket was busted for setting fire to the toilet paper section.
Cops say the suspect purposely lit a blaze inside the store located on Greaves Lane at around 3:45 p.m. on Nov. 26.
CCTV footage shows flames dancing along the aisle and charbroiling toilet paper rolls and paper towels.
Customers, scouting for Thanksgiving stockups, can be seen rolling their carts away from the scalding packages of Bounty paper towels before a hero with an extinguisher comes into frame and finally knocks it out.

The damage caused by the fire reportedly exceeds $100,000.
The suspect was brought under on Dec. 2 and nailed for arson, reckless endangerment, and criminal mischief.

⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Lower East Side: Warring Roses Turns Lethal
A CROSS COUPLE’S explosive row sent the man in a frenzy, and apparently hellbent on a bloody end.
So he took a blade and went to town on his woman.
Shortly after midnight on Nov. 18, the 26-year-old allegedly stabbed his galpal several times.
Medics rushed to aid the woman who had suffered lacerations to her neck, shoulder, arm, and leg, according to the criminal complaint.
She was rushed to Bellevue Hospital.
Her assailant was nabbed at the flat that same day.
Prosecutors charged him with attempted murder and assault.

⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Pelham Bay: Teen Knifes Woman For $8
A CRAVEN YOUTH shook down a middle-aged woman for chump change.
The 18-year-old scavenger allegedly bum-rushed a 50-year-old woman who was walking along Westchester Avenue and Buhre Avenue at around 11:30 p.m. on Nov. 8.
The youth allegedly wielded a sharp object and gashed the woman in the face. He then rifled through her clothes and accessories for cash — and pocketed just $8.
He then fled the scene.
But investigators caught up to him a couple hours later at 1 a.m. the following morning.
He was cuffed and booked on robbery, weapons possession, and petit larceny.

⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Sunset Park: Teen’s Loose Trigger Finger Proves Aimless

A YOUNG GUNSLINGER luckily missed every person he allegedly shot at.
Shortly before 4 a.m. on Aug. 2, an 18-year-old allegedly was playing war games with rivals and drew a 9mm pistol and opened fire during a duel that spilled outside of the El Viejon nightclub on 2nd Avenue near 43rd Street.
None of the shots struck either his intended target or anyone else in the vicinity.
After allegedly firing off the rounds he sprinted away. Cops collected two 9mm spent shells and two live rounds of the same caliber
A month would pass by before investigators, relying on CCTV footage from the scene, collared him.
He has pleaded not guilty for the reckless endangerment and criminal possession of a loaded weapon. He’s expected to return to court on Jan. 15, records show.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Rego Park: Mail Bagger Caught Cribbing Parcels
A LETTER LOOTER was nabbed in the act of swiping mail and packages.
The 44-year-old was pinched with a blue crobar and a black bag filled to the brim with other peoples’ mailed property.
At around 3 a.m. on Oct. 30, cops sprung into action to stop the alleged thief after he was leaving from a brick residential building located on Austin Street near 63rd Drive.
The suspect was witnessed walking up to the building and then “manipulate the door with an item”, according to the criminal complaint.
Once he exited and was intercepted by the police, he allegedly was gripping blue crowbar, a pocket knife, the fattened black bag with the stolen mail, and a mail room key tucked in his pants pocket.
The key itself is suspected of being a fugazi; a “counterfeit arrow key” and not USPS-issued.
Several residents complained of their packages and mail going MIA as a result of the suspect’s chicanery.
The suspect has several open cases beyond the postal snag.

⬛ SEPIA NYC
▀ Batman & Robin Shooting Pool (New York, NY) - 1966

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⬛ ET. AL

▀ Parking Space Thunderdome (New York, NY)

ANYBODY WHO HAS spent time in Gotham knows that an open space is currency. An oil gusher equivalent. But even after the lengthy time it can take to outsmart the other motorists (and their spies above lending intel) — when one frees up, some will go to great lengths to protect it. Even lie underneath a car in some kind of suicide mission. That’s what happened here. Only the driver decided to go for his metal bat to force away the man feigning a pylon to park his precious ride.
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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