THE FLASHY WHEELS almost painted a fat, bright bullseye on a man. 

There he was tooling around in style around town in a 2023 Bentley just before midnight on Feb. 18 of last year. 

The 31-year-old was parked outside West 28th Street. 

A trio popped out of a 2024 Mercedes-Benz sedan. 

Then they swarmed him, with one pointing a piece and demanding he exit the lux wheels. 

He apparently complied at first; stepping out of the car. 

However, the driver also kept in his person the key fob. 

And he remotely killed the engine.
That left the perps to be sitting ducks. 

So they bailed on the score. 

It wasn’t until Aug. 3, that investigators lassoed one of the failed bandits; an 18-year-old. 

He was hit with attempted robbery.

A DEMENTED SAP sought vengeance against his former lover. 

On Aug. 4, the 68-year-old man with the bruised ego decided it wise to mete out his feelings for his lost partner by making pyre outside his ex-girlfriend’s apartment on Cortland Avenue composed of a heaping pile of her clothes. 

When the flames took hold of the attire — they spread to overtake the front door. 

Luckily, maniac’s one that got away wasn’t home when he allegedly set the blaze with whatever was in her closet as fuel. 

He was summarily fitted for cuffs and nailed for arson (damage property), assault with a weapon, menacing, criminal possession of a weapon, reckless endangerment, and criminal mischief (damage property).

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A CALCULATED JOKER dressed up as a utility worker to tune up a couple and steal away with their loot.

The 56-ear-old allegedly stood outside the pair’s home wearing a bright ConEd vest located at East 54th Street on the afternoon of July 20. 

Authorities say the suspect’s attire appeared to disarm the woman, 29, to open the front door of their home. 

The brute barged in and immediately grabbed hold of her neck. 

Her husband attempted to play the hero — but was quickly neutralized by the bad guy’s pistol-whipping hand. 

The perp took hold of the woman’s purse and then fled on foot. 

Cops were called. 

They were able to track the dipshit using an app on the phone. 

He might as well have swallowed a AirTag. 

Because within a short couple clicks the perp was heading to the hoosegow. 

The purse was recovered along with the wife’s phone and credit cards. 

Cops also put into evidence a loaded pistol.

He faces burglary (causing injury), robbery (with a firearm), and menacing charges among others. 

During his arrest, the accused was already sweating a gunpoint robbery case from May 4.

THERE WAS LOADS of primo skunk in a man’s trunk.

Back on Feb. 1, 2023, a man’s 2017 Honda Pilot was confiscated and brought to the 113th Precinct. 

With a warrant, the cops searched the ride filled with six bags of doobage loaded in the trunk. 

The pot perp, now 27, remained a free man on this good earth for three years. 

Then, on June 30, his luck ran out and he was netted. 

He then took on the chin a hit for criminal possession of cannabis (more than five pounds).

HE REALLY MADE himself at home and marked his territory.

A screwy cad snuck into a stranger’s Amboy Road abode and had himself a banquet.

Late afternoon on July 7, the intruder was spotted kicking back on the resident’s couch, raided their closet and sporting a couple articles of clothing. 

What’s more, the resident was flummoxed by the odd social media screeds (YouTube and Instagram) marked on the closet walls. 

The perp wasn’t able to gobble down a bowl of porridge because the cops were swift and they took him into custody. 

He was charged with burglary, criminal mischief, criminal trespass, and trespass. 

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ONLY IN New York would a church rectory, the business office and home to the clergy, display a burglary alarm decaled on the front door glass.

Seen here is the front door of the St. James Church Rectory on Oliver Street.

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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

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