THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 0087 — 03-17-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Midtown: Rapscillion Caught Downing Booze Then Confessing He’s Broke
HE GOT LIQUORED up and then became abashed when he realized he was penniless.
A 44-year-old man was knocking them down one by one inside Kabooz’s Bar & Grill inside Penn Station at around 1:30 p.m. on Feb. 2.
The thirsty thief allegedly ordered and swilled three libations, running up a $34.99 tab.
When staff handed him his tab, he claimed he couldn’t pay it.
And there was no option to wash dishes to make up the bottom line.
He was taken into custody and charged with failure to pay based on stealth (dine and dash).
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Marble Hill: Man With A Van Plus Stockpile Of Smokes And Dank Doobage
HE SET UP shop underneath a lift bridge to ply his cigs and sensamilla.
Cops were wise to a man’s white Dodge van parked on Broadway and West 225th Street midday on Feb. 4.
They saw the man lounging in the backseat where he was allegedly
Slinging thrice-stamped smokes. Specifically, the cops found 2,580 packs of Newports and Marlboro bearing New York state, city… and Georgia state tax stamps.
They also found him rolling in various strains of sticky green including nearly 150 pouches, 176 vials, and 16 rolled fatty joints.
The suspect also had at the ready a purple stun gun.
His daytrading hustle was concluded right then and criminal possession of a weapon, cigarette and tobacco products tax, cigarette tax, and unlawful possession of cannabis.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Brownsville: Pair Caught Hoarding Heat In Basement Bedroom
THERE WAS A dangerous Jack in the box.
A woman, 45, and a man, 66, were busted in their basement flat
Early morning on Jan. 21.
Officers showed up perhaps to clink tea mugs and grub crumpets — and instead bagged a loaded silver 9mm Taurus pistol inside a drawer.
They also collected 10 rounds of ammo from a magazine.
And, shocker, neither had a permit to possess arms.
They were taken away and charged with possession of a loaded firearm, possession of ammo, and possession of an ammo feeding device.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Sunnyside: Delusional Box Cutter Menace Harks ‘I Am The Holy Spirit!’ To Thwart Church Service
A PRIEST’S SERMON was usurped by a loudmouth with a boxcutter who was on a mission to let the world know he’s a member of the Holy Trinity.
Nearly 100 parishioners were attending afternoon mass inside St. Sebastian Roman Catholic Church on Roosevelt Avenue at around 4 p.m. on Feb 1.
“I am the Holy Spirit!”
The 29-year-old rabblerouser barged in and allegedly marched to the podium to interrupt the priest.
“I am the Holy Spirit,” he belted as he took off his shirt and with the boxcutter started waving it around and pointing it at the priest, according to the criminal complaint.
A 911 call was placed and cops showed up to bust the intercessor and through the penal code book at him.
He was facing a humble pie of menacing and weapon possession raps.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Port Richmond: Crack Big Caught At Stashing At Home
TIPSTERS FED COPPERS to a potential rock mover in the underworld.
It was around 6 a.m. on Jan. 23 when investigators showed up at the front door of a 61-year-old’s Maple Avenue home.
The accused had no choice but to have the welcoming committee
to enter his home on Maple Avenue and they found him with a heavyweight of crack and also a large knife.
When cops attempted to bring their host under arrest, he allegedly fought back.
He was subsequently dinged with selling narcotics, possession of crack with the intent to sell, and resisting arrest.
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Drifter’s Poor Choice (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Dead On Scene (Bronx, NY)
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▀ Washed Up Venison (Rockaway, NY)
Photo by: Robert Green
A LIFELESS WHITE tail deer washed up on a shorline at Beach 147th Street last week.
The dead carcass was found extended on the wet sand back on the morning of March 12.
There hasn’t been a situation like this since 2018.
«SOURCE»
▀ Puff Puff Po-Po (New York, NY)
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▀ Cop Flasher?! (New York, NY)
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▀ Boogying Down (Bronx, NY)
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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