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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00214 — 08-17-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
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Not THE BLOTTER. You get a feast of news fare.
Please, please, please… with sugar on top…
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Fashion District: Quick-Thinking Bentley Driver Fended Off Jackers With Key Fob, But 10 Minutes Later They Made Mercedes-Benz Owner Walk Home
AT FIRST YOU don’t succeed by boosting a Bentley, try a Mercedez-Benz instead.
There he was tooling around in style around town in a 2023 Bentley just before midnight on Feb. 18 of last year.
The 31-year-old was parked outside West 28th Street.
A trio popped out of a 2024 Mercedes-Benz sedan.
Then they swarmed him, with one pointing a piece and demanding he exit the lux wheels.
He apparently complied at first; stepping out of the car.
However, the driver also kept in his person the key fob.
And he remotely killed the engine.
That left the perps to be sitting ducks.
So they bailed on the score.
But then they struck again — 10 minutes later.
The same BMW crew pulled up on a 33-year-old man who was behind the wheel of a 2024 Mercedes-Benz sedan.
One of the perps pulled a pistol and ordered the driver to exit.
When he complied the suspect and his chum took off in the Benz. And the remainder followed behind in the white beamer.
It wasn’t until Aug. 3, that investigators lassoed one of the failed bandits; an 18-year-old.
He was hit with attempted robbery.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Parkchester: Gizmo Wholesaler Caught Selling Six-Figure Sums Worth Of Wares On Side
THE INSIDE HUSTLE was a bonanza.
Until the cops caught on.
A 46-year-old perp was daylighting as a suit at IC Wholesale Inc. and then moonlighting as an inside guy fencing the stolen inventory.
The jig was up on the night of July 24.
That’s when the authorities descended on the biz where the suspect was working and exposed him for dealing the inventory of pricy iPhones, AirPods, and other goods for personal gain.
They determined the suspect was selling them outside the warehouse grounds and doctoring the company’s inventory logs to mask the grift.
In sum, authorities estimate the suspect pocketed $166,210.
On Aug. 12, cuffs and charges for grand larceny 2 (more than $50k), grand larceny 2 (retail goods scheme), criminal possession of stolen property (more than $50k) ,and falsifying business records were brought.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Crown Heights: Deviant Clad In ConEd Vest Barges Into Home, Pistol Whips Hubby Then Runs Off With His Wife’s Purse
A CALCULATED JOKER dressed up as a utility worker to tune up a couple and run off with their loot.
The 56-year-old bandit stood outside the pair’s East 54th Street home donning a bright ConEd vest on the afternoon of July 20.
Authorities say the suspect’s attire appeared to disarm the woman, 29, to open the front door of their home.
The brute barged in and immediately grabbed hold of her neck.
Her husband attempted to play the hero — but was quickly neutralized by the bad guy’s gifted hand with the iron.
The perp took hold of the woman’s purse and then fled on foot.
Cops were called.
They were able to track the dipshit using an app on the phone.
He might as well have swallowed a AirTag.
Because within a short couple clicks the perp was heading to the hoosegow.
The purse was recovered along with the wife’s phone and credit cards.
Cops also put into evidence a loaded pistol.
He faces burglary (causing injury), robbery (with a firearm), and menacing charges among others.
At the time of his arrest, the accused was already sweating a gunpoint robbery case from May 4.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Laurelton: Miserable Driver Caught Scoffing Court-Mandated Ignition Interlock Device
HE SHOULD BE banned from bumper cars at this rate.
A 38-year-old with a driver’s license that had been revoked 16 times was caught trying to drive again.
This time he was trying to pull off the smooth criminal in a 2015 Mercedes-Benz back at around 2 a.m. on Aug. 4.
A detail stopped him crossing the corner of Merrick Boulevard and 232nd Street.
They quickly learned he was supposed to be getting around by train, bus or a pair of Nikes.
When they searched the car they discovered a set of burglar’s tools.
He was pinched for those and for failing to install a mandated ignition interlock device, aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Elm Park: Soul Seeker Claims He Smashed Church Stained Glass Window Because He Needed To ‘Get Help’
A SEEMINGLY GODLESS man tried to unleash his demons by attacking a church in order to get a point to the parish that he was in desperate need of redemption.
He could have showed up to mass and lit a candle or confessed his sins (might have been a long heart-to-heart in that case). That would have been a conventional route.
But this fella wasn’t about simple salvation.
So when he decided to show up midday on July 10 he went on a tear.
The suspect, 35, allegedly marched up to Church of Saints Adalabert and St. Roch.
‘I was at the church to get help.’
He was then seen launching a rock into one of the stain glass windows, shattering it.
The damages were reported to be well over $1,500.
Authorities showed the irreverent act captured on CCTV.
And he didn’t deny it.
“That’s me in the photos,” he confessed, according to the criminal complaint. “I was at the church to get help.”
His come to Jesus earned him multiple counts of criminal mischief raps.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ Serial Butt Slapper (Brooklyn, NY)
A DIRTY MOPE on wheels can’t keep his hands to himself.
A 41-year-old woman claims she was walking on Atlantic Avenue at around 4:15 p.m. on Aug. 6 when a goon on an e-bike rolled up to her and slapped her buttocks and then kept going.
That same day, a few miutes later, the same handsy prick came from behind a 27-year-old woman nearby on Atlantic Avenue — slapped her and kept going.
▀ Phone Snatcher (Brooklyn, NY)
A MAN IS being sought for snatching someone’s celphone.
Cops say the suspect scored the device on Aug. 11 at the intersection of Surf Avenue and West 22nd Street.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Zoot (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ 2 x Disarmed (Bronx, NY)
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Refuse (New York, NY)
Credit: William Sullivan
«SOURCE»
▀ Pier Collapse (Staten Island, NY) - 1983
SEVERAL EXPRESS BUSES went into the bay at the Edgewater Bus Depot. The decrepit wooden pier couldn’t hold the weight.
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Postal Pilferer (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Fight On L Train (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ ‘Gotta Be Shittin’ Me… He Gave Up!’ (Hoboken, NJ)
«SOURCE»
▀ Threading Times Square Rush Hour Foot Traffic (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Baiting + Itching (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
-30-
*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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