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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 0063 — 02-11-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ East Village: Umbrella Swinging Goon Gouged Senior’s Eye While Exiting Subway
HE WAS CRYING bloody tears.
A 46-year-old whacko allegedly walloped an elderly man as he was stepping off a southbound 6 train.
His target? A 78-year-old straphanger.
It was around 1 p.m. on Jan. 19 when the geriatric stepped off the train and was suddenly daggered, splat in the right eye with the pointy end of his attacker’s umbrella.
The blood gushing man was rushed to Bellevue Hospital having suffered a laceration to his face.
Meanwhile, the parasol perpetrator was nabbed the same day and nailed for assault (person 65 or older), assault with a weapon causing serious injury.
The charges of reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct were tossed.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Concourse Village: Crack Falls Out Of Crook’s Pocket
IT’S HARD TO keep one’s crack from slipping from the shaky fingers.
Just ask one 66-year-old who can attest his butter fingers did him no favors.
Try telling a little tyke with a massive chocolate candy bar to wait until they get home to break open the wrapper to get at that sweet goodness.
The lackadaisical man was allegedly taking a morning constitutional back on Nov. 4.
While turning the corner on Teller Avenue near East 162nd Street, he allegedly let fall to the ground a vial filled with crack.
And this slipup occurred while a police officer (who might as well have been munching popcorn) was watching.
After recovering the potent pebbles, the officer affected an arrest.
The suspect was taken into custody and charged with criminal possession of a controlled substance.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Coney Island: Perv Hustled 14 Y.O. Girl To Send Him Nudes For Cash
SHE WAS TAKEN in by his conniving charms.
A 14-year-old was exploited by a man who allegedly convinced her to strike a deal: she would send him compromising selfies and he would gift her pocket change.
On Feb. 24, 2025, the 20-year-old suspect allegedly dangled the illicit proposal for her to send him pics of herself in various poses of undress, according to the criminal complaint.
The minor complied and sent him the pics.
With the unspeakable images in his possession — he in turn allegedly paid $40 through the Cash app.
On Dec. 30, authorities moved in on the sicko and formally charged him with use of a child (less than 17 years old) in a sexual performance, promoting sexual performance of a child, distributing indecent material to a minor, possession of a sexual performance by a child, and endangering the welfare of a child.
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⬛ QUEENS
▀ Elmhurst: Mom Stuffed Broom Down Daughter’s Mouth Ending Conniption Fit
THE MATRIARCH WAS bristling.
The warmongering mom and her daughter got especially out of hand. That’s because the witch of a mother allegedly weaponized her broom.
Twice.
Her hissy fit took place at 9:30 p.m. on Dec. 29 inside of a residential building located on 75th Street off Broadway.
Authorities say the 66-year-old woman first “swung” her broomstick in an attempt to strike her freaking daughter.
And that was just the first offensive.
The woman then took said broom and went for her daughter again. This time she aimed its bristles and stuffed them in her daughter’s mouth like she was ridding the world of a diabolical dustbunny.
The woman’s maleficia moment earned her a trip to clink to face menacing (with a weapon), assault, and harassment raps.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Stapleton: Wallet Thief Admits He Told Man, ‘Give Me Your Fucking Shit’ But After Emptying Its Cash, Returned It
HE SWIPED THE cash but swears he gave back the wallet.
It’s impossible to say he was robbing a man when he actually returned the property.
So he lightened it.
‘I took $299 from him. I took the wallet. I said, ‘Give me your fucking shit!’
At around 6:30 a.m. on Nov. 18 the early rising raider was allegedly lurking inside the Stapleton Houses moored on Broad Street near Gordon Street, according to the criminal complaint.
Then he saw his mark.
“Give me all your money,” the 45-year-old allegedly jeered to the stunned man.
He relented and handed over the wallet.
Cops nabbed the suspect. When questioned they showed him some CCTV footage of him.
But while the suspect confirmed it was him, he initially repelled the thieving as pure theory.
“They scared of me,” he allegedly said, not clarifying who exactly “they” are. “So I bet you they used him, saying I robbed him in the staircase.”
He continued to claim that while he was in the building, there was zero proof on camera of any crime.
“No cameras in the staircase,” he explained. “The only camera is outside of the staircase, not inside the staircase.”
And it’s as if the truth bathed over him like a wet blanket. For he then appeared to say he indeed shook down the dude.
“I took $299 from him,” the papers say. “I took the wallet. I said, ‘Give me your fucking shit!’”
But the benevolent chap took volunteered that he didn’t do all wrong because he said he “gave him back his wallet.”
Albeit $300 lighter.
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
Illustration by Rob Weiss
▀ Suspicious Sprinter
IT WAS A dope bazaar on wheels.
A Mercedes-Benz Sprinter was nooked on University Avenue (near local schools) and apparently supplying locals with all kinds of cannabinoid contraband
«SOURCE»
⬛ GOTHAM, INK
▀ COST / REVS (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Misc. (New York, NY)
⬛ NYCTALGIC
▀ Roofless / Hunts Point & Faile Street (Bronx, NY) - 1970s
«SOURCE»
▀ Elaine’s (Upper East Side, NY) - 1986
Credit: Gary Everhart
«SOURCE»
▀ West Side Highway (Lower Manhattan, NY) - 1976
Credit: Tom Duncan
«SOURCE»
▀ Bandits Roost (Five Points, NY) - 1888
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⬛ ET. AL
▀ Street Sushi (New York, NY)
A FAMISHED PREDATOR scored a mouse brunch.
Some savvy snapper was rolling when a furry Jerry was trying to cross the sidewalk.
The mighty mouse failed.
For as the rodent reached the snowy pile — a feathered sniper (The Blotter’s in-house ornithological expert confirms it’s a kestrel!!) swooped in and dug in its talons, took hold of the creature for a main course and flapped off to devour it elsewhere.
«SOURCE»
▀ Straphanger Captures Moment Man Shot On Subway Platform (Bronx, NY)
A TRAGEDY WAS recorded by a vigilant traveler aboard a D train. The snippet was captured as a train headed out on the opposite side of the railway at 170th Street. It centers on the victim timbering into a trash receptacle after apparently multiple slugs to his body. The shooter appears to be holding a pistol (possibly a revolver) can be seen reaching to the ground to grab something (possibly shell casings) and then vanishes up the stairway. The shot victim, who cops reported is a 41-year-old man was taken to Lincoln Hospital where he was pronounced dead.
«SOURCE»
▀ RIP E-Bike (New York, NY)
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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