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THE BLOTTER
ISSUE № 00154 — 06-19-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Illustration by Rob Weiss
The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ East Village: Foul-Mouthed Goon Bricked Citi Bike Rider After Barking ‘Get Out Of My Face!’
A HOMOPHOBE LAUNCHED a verbal assault followed by a brick salvo against a cyclist.
The 55-year-old man had hired a Citi Bike from a station located on East 2nd Street off Bowery at around 6 p.m. on May 17.
As he was beginning to wheel out, he was intersected by a rogue.
Without provocation, the bombastic brute slurred, “Faggot!”
He then screamed, “Whore!” and “Bitch!”
The perp then blabbed, “Get out of my face!”
It was after all the shit-talking that the mouth breather snapped and picked up a brick.
'Bitch… Get out of my face!’
-55-year-old punk to Citi Bike rider
Authorities say he took it and launched it at the biker.
The toss struck the back of the man’s right knee and sent him to eat asphalt.
He took off. But cops tracked him down and by the next day he was nabbed.
The suspect was then booked on assault as a hate crime, and criminal possession of a weapon (for beaming the brick)
TKTKTK
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Concourse Village: Courthouse Pyromaniac Admits ‘Yes, I Lit The Garbage On Fire… Arrest Me!’
FOUR FIRES. FOUR trash cans.
All set alight at the courthouse.
That was the predicament that cops were forced to wrangle back on the afternoon of June 11.
Authorities detailed at the Bronx County Hall Of Justice spotted a 25-year-old suspect reaching into one of the four trash cans to start a fire.
After the blazes were extinguished — the cops rushed to the perp and he apparently took much joy (as well as all the credit) for the courthouse BBQ.
“Yes, I lit the garbage on fire,” he allegedly boasted. “Arrest me!”
The man’s pockets were searched where officers pulled out a white lighter.
He was quickly given the business that included changes of arson and criminal mischief (damage property).
Bad news is good business. We never bought in.
Every morning, financial news follows the same script. Headlines panic, coverage catastrophises, and somewhere inside the noise is the story that actually matters — the one that tells you where the opportunity sits, not just where the fear is pointing.
Most sources have stopped looking. The alarm is easier to sell.
The Daily Upside was created by Wall Street insiders for readers who crave real insight over recycled anxiety. Five minutes of global business and finance, before the noise sets the agenda — just the facts, context, and analysis your decisions need.
Join 1M readers — including managing directors and principals at some of Wall Street’s largest institutions — who trust The Daily Upside to filter through the chaos.
The upsides are always there. We’ll find them before breakfast.
⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Crown Heights: Rock Tossing Bigot Belted ‘I Will Kill All Jews!’
HE’S LOUD AND proud of being an antisemite.
Minutes before midnight on May 10, a troublemaker was doing his worst.
A motorist claims he was driving on this night when he encountered the nutjob starting some mess around Eastern Parkway and Albany Avenue.
The perp, 36, allegedly lobbed a large rock at the man’s car.
He told cops later that the boulder was tossed into his lane and he had not time to weave around it.
The car suffered serious damage to the underside of the car.
His alleged attacker blabbed, “I hate jews!”
The same instigator allegedly disparaged another man the same day.
This time the punk was witnessed clutching a metal object when he fired another rock at the man and then hollered, “I will kill all jews.”
Both hate incidents were investigated and the next day the suspect was busted.
He was slapped with menacing (with a weapon/hate crime), criminal mischief (damage property/hate crime), aggravated harassment (based on race or religion), and weapon possession.
▀ Bergen Beach: Armed Robbers Warn Woman ‘Don't Turn Around Or I'll Shoot You!’ Then Snatch Her Necklace
BANDITS RIDING IN a white SUV took a hostage for her bling.
A 36-year-old and a female cohort allegedly rolled up to a woman standing outside Avenue N and Veterans Avenue on the afternoon of April 15.
Their mark was forced at gunpoint to enter their ride.
“Get inside the car,” the suspect allegedly barked. “She has a gun.”
The terrified woman did as she was told.
While seated in the SUV, the woman with the piece reminded her she wasn’t playing games.
“Don’t turn around or I’ll shoot you!”
The woman then took off the woman’s necklace — a piece that was worth more than $4,000.
The woman reported the incident to authorities.
And after some time, they collared the one suspect without the gun.
He faces robbery, grand larceny, criminal possession of stolen property (worth excess of $3,000), and menacing with a firearm.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Queens Village: Ousted Man Tells Cop ‘I Will Shoot You In The Head 100,000 Times!’
SOMETIMES A BIGMOUTH digs himself into a ditch of excrement.
And that’s just what happened with a 31-year-old nomad who already made attempts to terrorize his family.
The suspect was yelling nonsense outside his brother’s Hempstead Avenue home in the middle of the night on May 24.
At around 2:35 the same perp was witnessed in the vestibule, shouting, “I’m going to cut you!”
He apparently decided to leave. But then he returned just before sunrise.
The man’s mother was also home at the time and confirmed the rowdy behavior and mortal threat lodged by her son.
All of this came weeks after the suspect had been ordered by a judge to keep away from his family.
When cops arrived, the suspect allegedly became even more apoplectic.
‘I’m gonna end up doing something to the police. I will shoot you in your dick. I will shoot you in both your eyes.’
-Belligerent man to cop after making threats to his relatives.
Informed he was going to be jailed, the suspect attempted to argue his way out of the situation.
“I don’t wanna get locked up no more,” he protested. “You think I won’t come in here and make this shit filthy?
“I can get a gun, too.”
The suspect then began bragging about his connections and how hard of a criminal he was.
“I’m in Queens, you think I can’t get a gun,” he asked, before answering his own question. “I can get that shit mad fast and blow this hwoe shit up.”
His protest started getting more grotesque.
“I’m gonna end up doing something to the police,” he vowed. “I will shoot you in your dick.
“I will shoot you in both your eyes.”
He then claimed he had already gotten away with an attack when he was in stuck serving time at Rikers Island prison.
“Why do you think while I'm in Rikers Island they let me go that day,” he questioned. “I was about to stab a corrections officer in the eye.”
And as if that didn’t sound shocking enough, the suspect went on to say how he was prepared to “take correctional officers’ eyes out” and that he would “leave them blind” as well as “stab them with my shank.”
The suspect then again told the officer that he was ready to go after him.
“I will shoot you in the head 100,000 times,” he announced. “Not playing no more. You gonna see. Watch when I come back over here.”
The suspect was nailed for making a terroristic threat, criminal contempt, and harassment.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Eltingville / Woodrow / Rossville / Tottenville: Coke Fiend Made Bomb Threats, Wielded A Baseball Bat, Destroyed A Car — And Even Bellowed, ‘I’ll Fucking Shoot You!’ To Homeowner While Holding A Bamboo Stick
HE WAS RARING for jail.
Whether it was seeking revenge for being cut out of his kids’ lives, or his remarkable dislike towards Lexus model cars — one man went on a banner three-month crime bender.
Lexus Vengeance
If he was sore about riding the city bus or just sick of walking, the venting targeted the innocent owner of a silver Lexus RX 350 that was done harm by the 64-year-old one-hand demolition.
At around suppertime on March 31, the suspect used a metal wrench to smash both the rear windshield and the side window.
His alleged car tuneup actions were captured on CCTV.
‘I’ll fucking shoot you!’
-Loon, 64, told a resident while toting a bamboo stick
Bamboo Stick Swinger
MAYBE HE HAD a real bazooka in his bubblegum.
The batshit brute was caught after licking for a fight with a resident at high noon on April 6.
The suspect apparently was wielding a bamboo stick when he hollered, “I’ll fucking shoot you!”
And while the perp didn’t appear to be able to have much more than the plant to make good on his threat — he proceeded to wreck some havoc.
He used the stick to strike and scratch up the home’s front door.
The same blowhard then used the bamboo stick cudgel to ruin the home’s mailbox.
The police were summoned and quickly took the suspect into custody and disarmed him of his plant.
Metal Bat Slugger
The suspect was somehow back in civilization.
And at around 11 p.m. on April 15, cops were called to a home on Edgegrove Avenue.
There a woman feared the worst when a man had somehow breached the gated backyard and saw the same suspect who had the bamboo — this time wielding a metal bat.
He allegedly griped, “You’re not letting me see the kids!”
Cops searched him and found another bag of coke.
Bomb Scarer
He dared the homeowner at Maguire Avenue to call the cops.
It was around 1:30 p.m. on May 9.
And there he was, the same maniac (this time toting a pistol) having a tantrum outside the front door of a stranger.
“I hope someone calls the ficking cops,” he dared the resident before demanding, “Open the fucking door! Open it, motherfucker.
Open the fucking door!”
He then allegedly bashed the door and forced it off its hinges.
‘There is also an explosive device. It is green with a red button underneath the dresser; it is inside to the left.’
-64-year-old coke-addled whacko who was caught after a two-month crime spree
Once inevitably caught, investigators found a baggie of blow on him.
They also took a closer look at the man’s apartment.
There, the suspect claimed to have stashed his piece.
“Yeah, I have a gun,” he conceded.
“It is inside my dresser.”
A Glock 19 pistol was discovered there as he had detailed, according to the criminal complaint.
He then teased what seemed to be authentic specs to a possible bomb.
“There is also an explosive device,” he allegedly stated. “It is green with a red button underneath the dresser; it is inside to the left.”
But no bomb was found.
“Of course I said there was a bomb there,” the criminal mastermind chagrined to the law as if he had the last villainous cackle.
As for the pistol? The perp claims to have let authorities into his home because he “wanted them to find it.”
“I bought the gun off the street,” the suspect recounted, before keeping true to his personal samurai warrior code. “Don’t want to give a name.”
He continued: “I thought someone was in my landlord’s house — that’s why I was trying to get in there.”
The suspect faces a raft of charges for all of his repeated terrorizing and attacks both attempted and executed.
▀ Charleston: Gal Busted 20 Years After A Scratch Attack Against A Target Shopper For $7 Squeeezy Butter Stick
IT WAS SUCH a salty shakedown that the cops apparently never forgot.
A woman, now 57, was witnessed shaking down a 28-year-old woman shopper for her just-purchased 10-inch Squeeezy Butter toy from a Target store on Veteran Road back on the morning of May 13, 2006.
The suspect demanded the toy.
When shopper resisted, the overstressed perp allegedly went on a scratching assault.
She then pried the stress toy (retails for around $5.99) from her mitts.
On June 15 of this year — the butter bilker was busted.
The toy, which is yellow in color, and looks like an oversized 8 tablespoon stick of butter bills itself as a toy that “always bounces back to its original shape, ensure the fun never curdles.”
For 20 years the selfish churning chump was sitting pretty. At least she thought so.
But now she was lassoed and brought up in Staten Island Criminal Court on Tuesday.
The suspect pleaded not guilty and released on her own recognizance.
She’s due back in court on Aug. 13.
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ Splashy (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ Padlocked Shop Caught Peddling 85 LBS. Of Indo (New York, NY)
A STOREFRONT WAS raided and the spot padlocked after narcos seized more than 85 pounds of clandestine cannabis.
«SOURCE»
▀ Dope Kingpin, Galpal & Crew Busted (Harlem, NY)
A DOPE MASTERMIND lording over an open air drug market that slung crack out of a Harlem project was indicted.
Along with five of his crew.
On Tuesday, following a year-long probe, the NYC Special Narcotics Prosecutor charged Darryl Bullock, 36, of the Bronx in a 35-count indictment, along with five cohorts.
The suspects were taken down for pushing product out of the Lincoln Houses, located on East 132nd Street between 5th and Madison Avenues.
Undercover cops tendered $26,000 worth of rips to tally over a kilo of crack, blow, smack (laced with fentanyl) from the dealers.
When cops moved in to nab him in February, they stopped him driving along 5th Avenue and seized 550 grams of cocaine in the good ‘ol glove compartment — plus 100 Oxycodone pills and more than $3,500.
Late that day, cops orchestrated a raid at a house (trap house?) on Ryer Avenue in Fordham Heights, in the Bronx.
There, they found two guns in a closet a bunch of cocaine in a drawer and the refrigerator, a money counter and a scale. There also happend to be three children under the age of three crawling around the home.
His lover, Angelique Marbury, 31, was also pinched with drug and weapon possession as well as three counts of endangering the welfare of a child.
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Feds > Bank Robbers (New York, NY)
Credit: Scott Walton
FEDS TAKING DOWN bank robber ring.
«SOURCE»
▀ A Train (Far Rockaway, NY) - 1978
«SOURCE»
▀ Post Hurricane (Jamaica, NY) - 1955
«SOURCE»
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Verrazano Racer (Staten Island, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Flying Too Close To The Sun (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Knicks Parade Sneak (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Twitchy Arrestee (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Groundswell (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Poking The Twerking Bear (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
-30-
*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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