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THE BLOTTER EXTRA! EXTRA!
ISSUE № 00218 — 08-21-26
BY: M.L. Nestel
Graphic by Melissa Eiler
Ever fee like you aren’t getter much value out of your subscriptions?
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Please, please, please… with sugar on top…
⬛ MANHATTAN
▀ Union Square: Rabble-Rouser Caught Ripping Fire Extinguisher Off Target Wall In Security Spat
HE MIGHT AS well have put a bullseye on himself.
A 58-year-old trespasser returned to the big box store he had been banned. And he stirred up plenty of tumult.
On the morning of Aug. 9, the perp entered Target located in Union Square. It was the same biz he’d been given the heave-ho previously.
And he was not to return.
Instead, he was back there and quickly started getting cross with the security guards.
When the suspect supposedly lost his wits, he allegedly yanked a fire extinguisher off a wall (causing more than $400 worth in damages.
The suspect was charged with burglary, assault, and weapons possession (for a loaded gun).
It’s unclear what role the piece played in the dustup.
He was already in a quandary from Jan. 18. It was then that authorities say the same suspect shoved a Metro North train conductor at a 125th Street and then threatened to pepper spray him.
⬛ THE BRONX
▀ Morris Heights: ‘I Got Your Shit!’: Thug Boasts After Pepper-Spraying, Biting Acquaintance Walking His Dog
THE MAN JUST wanted to walk his dog.
And he was clobbered by two men — one of them a familiar pal turned foe.
The 36-year-old man was walking his pooch along Grand Avenue back at around 1:30 p.m. on June 2.
Authorities say the suspect, 30 and an unknown assailant ambushed the innocent and his pet.
His acquaintance struck first, dousing his face with pepper spray while his cohort shook him down.
‘I got your shit!’
-Acquaintence-turned-enemy to his felled victim
While this happened, the dog turned against his owner and bit his right leg.
The second man then swung and landed some haymakers at the man using a metal blunt instrument.
Both snatched the victim’s fanny pack (containing his wallet and keys) and the acquaintance gloated, “I got your shit!”
The one known to the victim was captured more than a month later on Aug. 11, court papers say.
He was charged with robbery, assault with a weapon, petit larceny and criminal possession of stolen property.
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⬛ BROOKLYN
▀ Bushwick: Honda-Keying Wretch Toting Switchblade And Swinging Cane, Whips Out Penis — Growls At Driver ‘I Will Violate You!’
A CRESTFALLEN OUT Honda owner returned to their car to discover its hood had been carved like a preschooler’s scissored snowflake.
It was around 9:45 a.m. on July 13, when the flummoxed owner discovered the slicing vandalism and was quickly in the crosshairs of its artist: a 30-year-old goon who was wielding a switchblade.
‘Suck on this!’
-Bad actor with his penis out for all to see after keying a Honda with his switchblade
The blade brute then dropped his pants and pulled out his appendage before sneering, “Suck on this!”
He proceeded to take a trash can and toss it at the already defaced Honda.
After trashing the car, the perp aimed his knife at the victim and said, “I will violate you.”
He then switched up the knife for a cane and started swinging it at the victim.
‘I will violate you!’
-Tough blabbed at Honda owner before swinging cane
The perp was picked up (and forced to pull up his pants) and then hit with lewdness, exposure, assault with a weapon, criminal mischief, and menacing.
⬛ QUEENS
▀ Long Island City / Astoria: Shirtless Serial Butt-Grabbing And Slapping Goon Caught With Crack Pipe
A HANDSY HOOD was nabbed for accosting several unsuspected women on their backsides.
The fiend, 27, was captured after going on a rumpus thumping spree on the morning of Aug. 2.
Authorities say at around 9 a.m. the shirtless perp in black pants was spotted rolling around Hoyt Avenue and 27th Street when neared the 59th Street Bridge on an e-bike and sided up to a woman walking by and slapped her on her rear end.
Twenty minutes later the same perp lurked around another woman and this time groped a woman’s buttocks from behind before rolling away.
A half hour passed by when the same accused was riding on 44th Street near 34th Avenue and slapped another woman on her backside before stealing away.
The punk was picked up at a 7-Eleven located on Northern Boulevard just minutes later.
When he was frisked, officers pulled from his person a glass pipe with some coke residue.
He was formally brought up on various raps including several counts of forcible touching, sexual abuse, drugs, weapons, and harassment.
▀ Jamaica: One Man Wrecking Crew Firing A Scooter And Swinging Plywood Denies Harm, Claiming ‘I Didn’t Hurt Anybody!’
FOR TWO DAYS in a row, a fiend threatened the life of a man at his job.
The 22-year-old bumrushed his target outside a strip mall on Merrick Boulevard late afternoon on July 20.
The suspect allegedly sneered, “I will kill you,” before taking hold of a heavy metal scooter and beaming it at him.
The launched scooter struck a display case. But it also smashed the man’s foot.
‘I will kill you!’
-22-year-old groused before tossing scooter at worker’s foot
The next day, the same perp returned for more.
He darted toward the same victim and blabbed, “I’m going to kill you.”
This time he was wielding a piece of plywood.
‘I’m going to kill you!’
-Aggressor screamed before bashing security camera to bits
Rather than do harm to his intended, the suspect destroyed a security camera with several swings of timber.
Coppers took hold of the hostile and when he was quizzed about why he went nutso on the man — he didn’t deny the accusations.
‘I didn’t hurt anybody.’
-Perp claimed his actions were victim-less
However, he believed that his actions were innocuous.
“I didn't hurt anybody,” he allegedly told investigators.
The suspect was formally charged with assault, attempted assault, criminal mischief, and weapons possession.
⬛ STATEN ISLAND
▀ Heartland Village: Antisemite Loon Clobbers Homes And Cars Grousing ‘I’m Gonna Eat You Alive. It’s Dinner Time!’
AS A TERRORIZER he stands alone.
A 53-year-old detonated on several homes and cars; especially peeved at homes and cars that he believed were owned and operated by Jews.
The ornery man unloaded in the predawn hours of July 20.
He stepped to a home on Keating Place and woke everybody, “I know you are Jews. You think you have it all. You own everything.”
He then allegedly rushed to the storm door of the home and shattered the glass — taunting, “I am going to eat you alive, it’s dinner time.”
The perp moved next door and again hollered, “It’s dinner time.”
‘I know you are Jews. You think you have it all. You own everything.’
-Glass breaking bruiser shouting at cars and homes
Then he dared the residents to “Call 911! Call 911!”
As calls to the cops were placed, the suspect moved onto his next target: a home on Rockland Avenue.
By now it was 4 a.m.
The suspect bashed two windows and a storm door.
He then moved on from homes to cars.
With a club (how he got it in his hands — who knows?!), he destroyed a 200 white BMW parked on Travis Avenue.
Then he also took said club and shattered the window of a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan.
‘Dirty, filthy Jew.’
-Goon shouts at 4 a.m.
He kept going and targeted a 2024 grey BMW beating to bits the mirrors and windows.
“Dirty, filthy Jew,” he yelped.
He then fixed to totaling a 2015 black Mercedes SUV.
‘I had to attack them before they attacked me.’
-Suspect told cops after his wrecking tantrum
It wouldn’t be for well into the afternoon of the next day until the maniac found himself fielding questions and Miranda Rights being read to him.
He told police, “I had to attack them before they attacked me.”
The suspect then charged with hate crimes, menacing, weapons possession, and harassment.
▀ West Brighton: Snack Heisting Deviants Twice Threaten Bodega Clerk’s Life ‘We’re coming to your house!’
A COUPLE OF junk food fiends stormed a bodega for an assortment of munchies and then aimed what appeared to be guns at the clerk.
The pair stocked up on all kinds of grub when they were inside the Deli Grocery and Grill located on the corner of Henderson and Campbell Avenues back at around 10 p.m. on July 20.
They were witnessed grabbing 30 bags of potato chips, 10 Welch’s Fruit Snacks, seven Nerds candies, 10 Haribo Gummy Bears, three hot fries, and to wash it all down — two sodas, and two waters.
‘If you call the police, I’ll shoot you.’
-One of the armed junk food fleecers said while threatening bodega clerk
As they were making their exit without paying, both pointed from their pockets what the clerk determined to be pistols.
And one of them warned, “If you call the police, I’ll shoot you.”
The next evening, the same suspects returned.
This time they didn’t raid the shelves for more eats.
‘We know where you live. We’re coming to your house.’
-Same surly pair returned the next day to the bodega and took a picture of the clerk’s car license plate
They gathered by the clerk’s car and took a photo of its license plate.
They then stepped to the clerk at the bodega and one hissed, “We know where you live.”
He continued: “We’re coming to your house.”
Despite the intimidation tactics, the clerk did ring for the authorities.
They were summarily nabbed and facing charges of robbery with a firearm, intimidation (causing fear), petit larceny, and criminal possession of stolen property.
▀ Elm Park: Soul Seeker Claims He Smashed Church Stained Glass Window Because He Needed To ‘Get Help’
A SEEMINGLY GODLESS man tried to unleash his demons by attacking a church in order to get a point to the parish that he was in desperate need of redemption.
He could have showed up to mass and lit a candle or confessed his sins (might have been a long heart-to-heart in that case). That would have been a conventional route.
But this fella wasn’t about simple salvation.
So when he decided to show up midday on July 10 he went on a tear.
The suspect, 35, allegedly marched up to Church of Saints Adalabert and St. Roch.
⬛ WANTED V. NABBED
▀ 7-Eleven Stickup Artist (Douglaston, NY)
AN ARMED AND masked assailant is being sough for sticking up a 7-Eleven overnight on Aug. 20.
The baseball-capped perp stepped into the convenience chain and held a piece demanding a score and then fled on an e-bike.
▀ Wheeling Chain Snatchers (Bronx, NY)
TWO PERPS ON a moped ripped a chain from a man’s neck and roughed him up.
The bandits took off on the night of Aug. 13at the corner of Van Cortlandt Park South and Mosholu Parkway.
Their aggressive strong arm forced the victim to grab asphalt where they proceeded to give him a licking. Then they bolted.
▀ Parking Perv (Mineola, NY)
▀ Thief (New Hyde Park, NY)
⬛ GOTHAM, INK.
▀ AIDZ (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Bronx, NY
«SOURCE»
⬛ EVIDENCE ART
▀ > Gat (Bronx, NY)
▀ Menace (Bronx, NY)
⬛ NYCTALGIA
▀ Uprising (Brooklyn, NY) - 1991
«SOURCE»
‘Death Wish 3’ Movie Scene (East New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Municipal Building Construction (Lower Manhattan, NY) - 1913
⬛ ET. AL
▀ Belt Parkway Autobahn (Brooklyn, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Bad Scene (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Submerged Bentley On BQE (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Fire On Aisle 9 (Bronx, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Cops + Dodgers (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Rock-Rock-Rockaway Beach (Rockaway, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Dub City Takedown (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Solo Act (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Copycat (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Hot Pursuit (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Unyielded (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
▀ Gawk In The Park (New York, NY)
«SOURCE»
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*When perusing The Blotter, know that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter – what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.
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The Blotter.* A roundup of happenings in Gotham’s mean streets (and from time to time the tri-state region). Each item provides a staticky glimpse into the sleepless city’s peripheral misdemeanors, felonies, and misadventures.
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